1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 329 of 746
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,360
    Likes Received:
    263,292
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6561
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6562
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    There was a man who had worked all his life and saved all of his money...
    He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me, because I want to take all my money to the afterlife.

    So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all the money in the casket with him.

    Well, one day he died.

    He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to their best friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakes got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait A Minute!"

    She had a shoebox with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away.

    Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man."

    She said, "Yes l, I promised that. I'm a Good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that cakser with him."

    "You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

    " I sure did", said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a checque"
     
    #6563
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,360
    Likes Received:
    263,292
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6564
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    "I keep randomly shouting out 'broccoli' and 'cauliflower' - I think I might have florets."
     
    #6565
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    San Diego likes this.
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6566
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    San Diego likes this.
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6567
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    San Diego likes this.
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6568
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    San Diego likes this.
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

    A carrot.
     
    #6569
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    What do you call a Teletubbie that’s been burgled?

    A Tubbie
     
    #6570
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    Someone threw a piece of cheese at my head.

    Not very mature.
     
    #6571
    kiwiqpr, Aug 19, 2019
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,360
    Likes Received:
    263,292
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6572
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2019
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,360
    Likes Received:
    263,292
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6573
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,360
    Likes Received:
    263,292
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6574
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 20, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    Women live an average of 6 to 8 years longer than men.

    This is primarily because they don’t have wives.
     
    #6575
    kiwiqpr, Aug 20, 2019
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6576
    kiwiqpr, Aug 20, 2019
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6577
    kiwiqpr, Aug 20, 2019
    San Diego likes this.
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    Bernard ☺️‏@VivaLesVegas Aug 19
    Good morning to everyone except Owen Jones
    please log in to view this image

    In other news,
    I was attacked by 4 people last night,
    the attack only lasted less than a minute but in that time I learned that the were far left,
    were fans of Earasure,
    one doesn’t see his family
    and one has a dairy allergy.
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6578
    kiwiqpr, Aug 20, 2019
    San Diego likes this.
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,518
    Likes Received:
    215,256
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6579
    kiwiqpr, Aug 21, 2019
    San Diego likes this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,360
    Likes Received:
    263,292
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6580
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 21, 2019
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
Page 329 of 746
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page