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Farting

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Sweats, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    Does anyone not find farting funny?

    I just without thinking let one rip in the office. The look on my staff faces is of pure disgust. I followed it up with a really loud burp too.

    Been chuckling to myself for about half an hour so far.
     
    #1
  2. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    My lad did the loudest fart I've ever heard from someone so small this morning, it actually woke me up. He thought it was hilarious.
     
    #2
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  3. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Something on one of the jokes threads about farts being like children . You love your own , but you hate everyone else's.
     
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  4. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    The smell of farts isn’t the best but the sound of them is amusing.

    When walking the dogs over the park a couple of weeks ago there was a yogathon going on in the park for men’s mental health awareness.

    Thought I saunter past and check out the birds doing said event. Downloaded a fart generator on my phone and stood there making fart noises as they bent themselves into position. I was genuinely crying with laughter on the inside. But stood watching look aghast.
     
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  5. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    Yeh I'm one who thinks it's ****ing hilarious.

    Especially when I aim for the mrs
     
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  6. brb

    brb CR250

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    Many years ago, I used to have an old boss that thought it was funny to let rip in the office. However, the rumours soon start in the office, that he's a digusting dirty old man. Anyhow, by chance after those many years, about 12 months ago I nearly passed my old boss without noticing him, because the years had not been kind to him and my first thought was the old fooker looks like he's about to shhite his pants - it's uncool, unattractive, just don't be that man Sweats <ok>
     
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  7. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    Lolz can I come next time?
     
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  8. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    Fux all that got to do with farting fosse?
     
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  9. brb

    brb CR250

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    Was we referring to Fosse....oh ffs, carrry on then lads <ok>
     
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  10. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    With a group of mates its amusing.

    In an office not so much but it depends on the company.

    My dog does the odd deadly one.
     
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  11. Mistress Orchid

    Mistress Orchid Playing with my Saxton

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    Is so funny that you start thread about farting. My BIG BOY like it when Orchid do parp parp in his fat face. He pay extra.
     
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  12. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    That guys a real creepy dude man
     
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  13. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    The Labrador can clear the house with one of his silent efforts.
     
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  14. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    It was accidental the fart in the office. Just pumped it out without a second thought.
     
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  15. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    Farts will always be funny. In fact, any arse related humour is good. Farts, Farmer Giles, uncontrollable squits, arse-gravy, constipation, enemas, people going to A&E to get Harpic bottles that they accidentally sat on removed from their ringpiece - if you’re not laughing any of that, you’re probably dead. Or maybe you’re an adult, I dunno.
     
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  16. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    <applause>

    Well said , the Day farts cease to be funny you might as well die.

    Nothing quite like a squealing fart to break a tense silence.
     
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  17. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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  18. NSIS

    NSIS Well-Known Member

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    Lab carpet creepers are deadly. Victims can suffer badly for minutes afterwards.
     
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  19. Milk and Kebabs

    Milk and Kebabs Well-Known Member

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    Every once in a while I try to relieve myself quietly in the office. More than once my attempts at being silent were not silent.

    I always rub my shoes along the chair legs to make squeaking sounds after letting an audible one go hoping the people in the offices next to mine might think it was a chair squeak not a fart.
     
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  20. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton Forum Moderator

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    I'm not a fan of people I don't know farting in front of me, that's a bit presumptuous and offensive tbh.

    The bloke at the piss stones in the gents who thinks you want to hear then breath his arse gas can go **** himself, thanks.

    Otherwise, I'm all for it.

    My seven year old daughter is a master farter. Wonder when she'll realise girls aren't supposed to fart?
     
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