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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I walked into a Chemist and asked to talk to a Male Pharmacist.

    The woman I was speaking with said she was the only Pharmacist and since she and her Sister owned the shop, there were NO Male employees.

    She asked if she could help me. I said that I really would have preferred to speak with a male Pharmacist.??

    She assured me that she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of professionalism.

    I reluctantly agreed and began by saying,

    “This is tough for me to discuss, but here goes. I get erections every day that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So, I was wondering what you could give me for it”..???

    The Pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my Sister.”

    When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length and here’s the absolute best we can do :-

    • Free room and board,

    • 1/3 ownership in the business,

    • a Company Car,

    • a King Size Bed, and

    • £2,000 a month in Living Expenses.
     
    #7021
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Mick says to Paddy "Whats wrong Paddy, you look sick"? "I want to sell my car but no one will buy it. It's done 96,000 miles"

    "Why don't you put the clock back, it'll sell then"

    "Good idea says Paddy, I'll do that"

    Two weeks later, Mick sees Paddy and asks him about the car. "Did you sell it mate"?

    "Why should I sell a car that's only done 12,000 miles....
     
    #7022
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7023
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7024
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7025
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7026
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Don't you just hate it when you wake up to find a Cat sleeping on the Roof of your Car?
     
    #7027
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7028
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7029
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2019
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Jeremy Corbin MP, Prime Ministerial Parody‏@CorbynSnap 13h13 hours ago
    More
    BUNKER DIARY, DAY 11: We tried playing Monopoly, but on his first turn John nationalised all the properties and confiscated everybody else’s money. I said it was rude but he winked and said “Don’t worry Jeremy, I’ve kept Mayfair for you and me”. I don’t understand.
     
    #7030
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #7031
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #7032
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor.
    Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction-cupped herself to the floor.
    She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in.
    "Bruce, I've F***ing suctioned myself to the floor," she said.
    "S'truth," Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
    I'll go across the road and get me mate Wayne to help."
    They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
    "No way, we can't do it," Wayne said, "so let's try Plan B."
    "Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?"
    "I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Wayne.
    "Spot on," Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples."
    "Play with her nipples?"
    Wayne said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
    "No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
    can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive...
     
    #7033
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7034
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2019
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #7035
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7036
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2019
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  17. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    705CA9BB-D07C-4B79-B6C9-F275EFA15740.jpeg
     
    #7037
    Uber_Hoop, Jul 23, 2019
    Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr and Ninj like this.
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #7038
    kiwiqpr, Jul 23, 2019
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Jeremy Corbin MP, Prime Ministerial Parody‏@CorbynSnap 13h13 hours ago
    Follow Follow @CorbynSnap
    Looking forward to competing with a popular, populist Brexiteer for Labour leave votes, and a young, non-racist feminist Remainer for Remain votes. As a grizzled, terrorist-supporting, anti-British, equivocating, passive-aggressive antisemite, it’s mine for the taking. #Walkover
     
    #7039
    kiwiqpr, Jul 24, 2019
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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    When the insurance company wants you to draw a sketch of your accident
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7040
    kiwiqpr, Jul 24, 2019
    Uber_Hoop, Rangers Til I Die and Wooperts_duck like this.
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