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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Mick says to Paddy "Whats wrong Paddy, you look sick"? "I want to sell my car but no one will buy it. It's done 96,000 miles"

    "Why don't you put the clock back, it'll sell then"

    "Good idea says Paddy, I'll do that"

    Two weeks later, Mick sees Paddy and asks him about the car. "Did you sell it mate"?

    "Why should I sell a car that's only done 12,000 miles....
     
    #5181
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
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  2. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    IMG-a50a7b3fc7bf5241584bb6cb8fd6c4f1-V.jpg
     
    #5182
    swantastic, Jul 20, 2019
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5183
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5184
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5185
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5186
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2019
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Don't you just hate it when you wake up to find a Cat sleeping on the Roof of your Car?

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    #5187
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5188
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5189
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2019
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5190
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
    Wooperts_duck, neveroffsidereff, daimungeezer and 1 other person like this.

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5191
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor.
    Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction-cupped herself to the floor.
    She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in.
    "Bruce, I've F***ing suctioned myself to the floor," she said.
    "S'truth," Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
    I'll go across the road and get me mate Wayne to help."
    They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
    "No way, we can't do it," Wayne said, "so let's try Plan B."
    "Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?"
    "I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Wayne.
    "Spot on," Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples."
    "Play with her nipples?"
    Wayne said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
    "No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
    can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive...
     
    #5192
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  13. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    The correct way to greet a man when he gets home...!

    It's not too complicated

    home1.jpg

    NOT....

    nag1.gif

    <cheers>
     
    #5193
    swantastic, Jul 22, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5194
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2019
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5195
    kiwiqpr, Jul 22, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5196
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2019
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  17. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #5197
    swantastic, Jul 23, 2019
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  18. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20190723-WA0003.jpg
     
    #5198
    swantastic, Jul 23, 2019
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    When the insurance company wants you to draw a sketch of your accident
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    #5199
    kiwiqpr, Jul 24, 2019
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5200
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2019
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