Just because you don't take your beachwear to Madrid doesn't mean there's no beaches mate. Yo Haig remember Spanish Sarah last summer, what a ho!
There's a beach at low tide down by Deptford reach on the Thames, but you ain't going down there with your inflatable pink flamingo and slapping on your Piz Buin any time soon bruv.
Eating ice cream seconds after licking a pipe is a ****ing weird sensation...but you wouldn't do that **** in Madrid. Pina Colada and ice cream, maybe.
Who needs the mediterranean anyway when you can fly to East Midlands airport and then drive to Deptford ? please log in to view this image