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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6882
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6883
  4. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    To the Person who stole my glasses. I will find you. I have contacts...
     
    #6884
  5. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I accidentally killed a chicken.
    Now I'm being haunted by a poultrygeist
     
    #6885
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  6. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I think somebody's making up all these conspiracy theories.
     
    #6886
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  7. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    The first time I asked a woman to make love to me my hands were sweating and shaking uncontrollably...

    I'd never pointed a gun at anyone before....
     
    #6887
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  8. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend accused me of cheating.

    I told her she was starting to sound like my wife....
     
    #6888
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  9. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    A prostitute goes to see a gynecologist with severe stomach pains. After she had stripped off and the doctor had examined her, he said "The issue is with your aviaries". She said "Don't you mean ovaries doctor?" He replied "No, there's been a cockatoo in there!".............
     
    #6889
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  10. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  11. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    #6891
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6892
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  13. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6894
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6895
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • I ended up with this stunner the other night who assured me she was a virgin.
    • Things were going great, but after a bit of groping around she pushed me away.
    • "Don"t tell me," I sighed, "you want to wait for Mr Right?"
    • "No..." she replied,
    • "Mr Big will do..."
     
    #6896
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Strange to see so many tattoos on professional football players, considering how low their pain threshold is........
     
    #6897
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6898
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
    "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?"
    "I went to visit my Nana."
    "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
    "I took a ride on a choo-choo."
    "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done.
    "I read a book," he replied.
    "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
    Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SH*T."
     
    #6899
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was up in the attic recently, and found my grandpa’s old wig weaving machine.

    It's a family hair loom
     
    #6900

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