I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, aboriginals and Lebanese rapists is not the correct answer.
George Bush is visiting Algeria. As part of his programme, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people. "You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to talk to you in your own language but, unfortunately, I was never any good at Algebra..."
Four Muslim extremists have died in a car crash on the outskirts of Birmingham. Police describe their condition as satisfactory.