FIFA world rankings announced, and Scotland are now 3 places below the island Tom Hanks got stranded on in Castaway....
Off to University in an attempt to improve my Cuppa Soup making technique. I'm doing a Bachelors Degree.....
A prostitute goes to the doctor complaining of morning sickness. The doctor says, "congratulations! Do you know who the father is?" The prossy replies, "if you ate a tin of beans, would you know which one made you fart?"
My uncle was a sh1t ventriloquist ............... He used to sit me on his knee, stick his fingers up my arse and tell me not to say anything.
