Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

I played FM19 earlier and what a load of Bollocks this game is. I was Eastleigh manager and we got Saints in the 3rd round of the FA cup .Eastleigh lost 5-1 with Long scoring four times. Yeah right

 

Autopsy revealed that Sala died of head and torso injuries....so in a crash, not drowned. Hopefully quicker.

 

Some things are so lost in translation.

I just did a whole "Mange tout, Mange tout Rodney" thing on a group FaceTime on the phone to my US Son-in-law, and although we were all pissing ourselves, I know he was laughing because we were....

 

Gordon Banks dies

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/47196017

 

This magician is just incredible.

 

I am really annoyed at myself! I know loads of jokes about cash machines, but I just can’t seem to think of one atm.

 

I’m upset that my obese parrot has just died. Still it’s a massive weight off of my shoulders.

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation

 

Groan

 

Don’t know if this is allowed, mods, as it is an advert, but the Saints do the double.

 

Something doesn't quite ring true about that cover picture.

 

I can only assume it’s of a former occupant of the no.7 shirt rather than the current incumbent.

 

Have you all seen this ?

 

Bad news for Dyslexics on October 28th .


Their cocks go black .

 

Q ) Why do Elephants have four feet?





A ) Because they would look f**king stupid with six inches

 

The chairman of the dyslexic society was given an OBE.
“What use is this to me?” He said. “I can’t even play the bloody thing “.

 

I’m no linguist but is HIV Latin for High 5?

 

Synonym.
A word you use when you can’t spell the one you are thinking of.

I lost my thesaurus the other day.
I couldn’t find the words to describe how upset I was.

 

I just heard a woodpecker call me a paranoid twat in morse code.