My ex mother in law went that way too. We had her stay with us when it got to the stage that she couldn’t look after herself. She’d drive to the supermarket and forget how to get home again, etc. The violence and abuse is not unusual. Some if it’s born from frustration at what’s happening to them. Somewhere inside they seem to know there’s still a piece of the old person there and it’s that part that reacts violently. She was American and would get up in the middle of the night and pack her suitcase because she wanted to go home. We’d try to explain to her that she was in England, but she’d insist that she lived just around the corner. Soooo..I’d have to put her in the car and tell her to point out her house when she saw it. After 15-20 mins she’d go quiet and I’d drive her back to the house. All this at 3 in thr morning and and I had to be up at 5.30 latest to get to work. I was absolutely knackered after a while and she had to go into a home.
Tough gig mate. Dementia is awful once it gets past the initial forgetfulness stage and the person sat there literally doesn’t know who you are. Sounds like your Dad is close to needing residential care if your Mum is really struggling to cope with him.
You have my sympathy.My Ma went the same way. It was a release for her when she went. I know she was inside there somewhere, crying internally.
Thanks mate. I still see glimpses of my old man the way he was, but they are fleeting moments. I was showing him some pictures of his grandfather during his service in the first world war recently and he started crying. Must be so ****ing **** knowing you've lost your mind.
Like I said in my post, and RHC alluded to, there seems to still remain a part of the real person inside there, even when the disease is quite advanced. It must be hell knowing what’s happening to you and being unable to do anything about it.
The last time I saw her alive, I told her that I was fine and my daughters were fine and that I knew she was in there somewhere hearing what I was saying. I told her to let go. A week later, she passed. I have no doubt she knew exactly what I had said.
