When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee." I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon". I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. I ask again, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?" She said, "I can't remember where I live!".
I was shocked to hear the Home Secretary say that Britain's prison population has been ballooning for the past ten years. Has the world gone mad? Those people are there to be punished, not to be given an experience that most law abiding citizens can only dream of.
My wife got this from Aldi. I sent her back to get the latest version. please log in to view this image
The inventor of the snooze button has passed away. His funeral will take place tomorrow at 8:00am, 8:06am, 8:11am, 8:13am, and 8:14am
Bloke just knocked on my door. I opened it and he was about 3ft 3"tall. I said "who are you?" He replied "I'm the meter man"
