An English man, an American and an Arab were sitting in a bar talking about their families. The Englishman said,"I have 10 sons at home and if I had 1 more I"d have a football team." The American said,"I have 15 kids at home and if I had another I"d have an american football team." The Arab said," I have 17 wives at home. If I had one more I would have a golf course!"
I got so sick of Trick or Treaters that I turned the lights off and pretended I wasn’t in. Sod the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.......
I pointed to 2 old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my mate “That’s us in 15 years!” “That’s us in a mirror, Dipshit”
Me and the wife had a big fight last night. She called me gullible and financially irresponsible. Wait until she hears I've won the Nigerian lottery
I realised my parents favoured my twin brother when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party!
BREAKING NEWS: Liverpool manager has resigned! He's taking his family home to Germany. The Klopp's go back this weekend!
