Apparently Katie Price is writing a new book about all the men she's slept with, it's called the The Telephone Book.
Thomas Cook's newly-painted plane spells out a rude word when the doors are opened... please log in to view this image
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?" She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!" His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I done on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?" "No", she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"
Devastated please log in to view this image A very sad day today. After seven years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.