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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I met a dyslexic Yorkshire man the other day.

    He was wearing a cat flap.
     
    #4721
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4722
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Spent an hour at the wife’s grave this morning.

    Bless her, she thinks I’m digging a pond.....
     
    #4723
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4724
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4725
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2018
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Found the square root.
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    #4726
    kiwiqpr, Oct 7, 2018
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4727
    kiwiqpr, Oct 7, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Apparently Katie Price is writing a new book about all the men she's slept with, it's called the The Telephone Book.
     
    #4728
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Thomas Cook's newly-painted plane spells out a rude word when the doors are opened...
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    #4729
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4730
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4731
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?"
    She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
    His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I done on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?"

    "No", she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"
     
    #4732
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4733
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4734
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4735
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4736
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Devastated
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    A very sad day today. After seven years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession.

    What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.
     
    #4737
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4738
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4739
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I've just burnt my Hawaiian Pizza.

    I should have put it on Aloha temperature!!
     
    #4740
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2018
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Page 237 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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