A lorry carrying Vicks nasal spray has crashed on the M1. Police say there will be no congestion for 8 hours
If you ever feel your job is really pointless. Just remember: there is some bloke in Germany putting indicators on BMW cars...
Breaking news: It has been revealed that the real father of Beyoncé is in fact 70’s & 80’s entertainer Roy Castle. While she has accepted the findings, she’s refusing to take his surname......
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before die." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says,"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
I've learnt a life lesson yesterday. Next time I walk into the house and see my wife crying, I'm not going to say, "Is it because of your new haircut?"
