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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 204 of 835
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4061
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
    The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex. “Oh I see,” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
    He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, “Why are there three in this package.”
    The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”“Cool!” says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks “Then who are these for?”
    “Those are for college men.” the dad answers, “Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.”
    “WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses these?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
    With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…”.
     
    #4062
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4063
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4064
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4065
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  6. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Should be on the ‘Bollocks’ thread!
     
    #4066
    Didley Squat, Jul 25, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck, San Diego and 1 other person like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4067
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4068
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4069
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2018
    Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4070
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4071
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4072
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks her husband in a very seductive voice, "Have you ever seen Twenty dollars all crumpled up?" "No," said her husband.

    She gave him a sexy smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, slowly reached down into her ample cleavage, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty dollar bill.

    He took the crumpled bill from her and smiled approvingly..

    Then she asked him, "Have you ever seen Fifty dollars all crumpled up?"

    "Uh...no, I haven't." he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.

    She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties...and pulled out a crumpled Fifty dollar bill.

    He took the crumpled Fifty dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

    "Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

    He said, "No!," trying to hide his anticipation.

    She said, "Check the garage."
     
    #4073
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Is a deceased campanologist a dead ringer ?
     
    #4074
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  15. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    .
     
    #4075
    Didley Squat, Jul 27, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I heard the man who invented the TV remote passed away.

    They found him at home in between the couch cushions.
     
    #4076
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4077
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A truck carrying snooker equipment has lost its load on the M62.

    The cues go back for miles.......
     
    #4078
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4079
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4080
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
Page 204 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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