A Scotsmen,Irish man and Welshman walk into a bar. There is normally an English man but he's at the World Cup
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
I hate when people use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious. Especially when I'm inebriated beyond the exuberance of my own verbosity to notice.
Which three English League teams have swear words in their name? 1) Arsenal 2) Scunthorpe United. 3) Manchester F*cking United.