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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4021
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Pepsi and Shirley haven't aged well...
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    #4022
    kiwiqpr, May 30, 2018
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4023
    kiwiqpr, May 30, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4024
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4025
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I bought a deodorant stick today.

    The instructions said, “Remove cap and push up bottom.”

    I can barely walk but when I fart the room does smell lovely.
     
    #4026
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Phil and Gary Neville back in their early days.....

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    #4027
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4028
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    no one will believe i grabbed her tits
     
    #4029
    kiwiqpr, May 31, 2018
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    upload_2018-5-31_17-31-28.png
    While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual
    information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc ....

    Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew
    take you safely to Afghanistan '

    An old Sgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself,
    'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman? '

    When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?'
    'Yes,'! said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.'
    upload_2018-5-31_17-31-28.png

    'My God,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think
    with only women up there in the cockpit.'

    'That's another thing, Sergeant,' said the crew member,
    'We No Longer Call It The Cockpit'

    'It's The Box Office.
     
    #4030
    kiwiqpr, May 31, 2018
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    a bit thameslink
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    #4031
    kiwiqpr, May 31, 2018
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  12. bunmahon_ranger

    bunmahon_ranger Well-Known Member

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    #4032
    bunmahon_ranger, May 31, 2018
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A German tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my precious little dog who was drowning,
    after he climbed out he handed me the dog and said
    “here is ze dog keep him warm and dry him off he vill be fine”
    I said “are you a vet?”
    He replied “vet?..
    I’m ****ing soaking”
     
    #4033
    kiwiqpr, May 31, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Wouldn't the song "Love really hurts without you" by Billy Ocean be a great choice for a Vaseline advert.
     
    #4034
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Real Madrid have put in a bid for Mo Salah.

    If he declines, Sergio Ramos has offered to try and twist his other arm.
     
    #4035
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Q. What do you call a fat psychic ?

    A. A four-chin teller
     
    #4036
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Two deaf blokes were out one evening and decided to call into a pub for a pint. One said, by means of signing, “You sit down, I’ll get these.”
    “Two pints best bitter please” he said to the bartender, signing and talking in that inimitable way that the deaf have.
    “That’ll be eight pounds please.”
    “Eight ****in’ quid for two pints!!! Why?”
    “We’ve got music on.”
    “Music! We’re deaf. What sort of music is it anyway? Is it rock ‘n’ roll?”
    “No.”
    “Is it soul?”
    “No.”
    “Is it R ‘n’ B?”
    “No.”
    “Well what is it?”
    “It’s country and western.” At that he takes the beers over to his mate and tells him “Eight ****in’ quid for two pints.”
    “Whhaaaat? Why?”
    “They’ve got music on.”
    “Music!! We’re deaf fer crissake! What sort of music is it anyway, is it rock ‘n’ roll?”
    “No.”
    “Well is it soul?”
    “No.”
    “Well is it R ‘n’ B?”
    “No.”
    “Well what is it then?”
    “It’s some c*nt from Preston . . . .
     
    #4037
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4038
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    • We were that poor when I was a kid, my parents used to get my school clothes from the Army surplus shop.
    • Nothing wrong with that you might say.
    • But do you realise how badly bullied you get going school dressed as a Japanese sniper.
     
    #4039
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4040
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2018
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