Played poker in Las Vegas. Beaten an entrant in the national pool championships in a competitive game. Been violently mugged. Seen Fellowship of the Ring 8 timed at the cinema. Seen Radiohead in 5 different locations - London, Reading, Nottingham, Manchester and Edinburgh. Run 8 half marathons (actually only done one without walking at least a bit). Failed a degree. Turned up at the wrong airport for a flight. Erm... Caught a falling meteorite in my teeth. Given a T-rex a Chinese burn. OK there are a couple of dubious ones in there - I'm just not that exciting.
Been suspected of murder Arrested on an intent to kill charge Lost my licence due to drink driving (twice and yes I know I was a ****). Spent time behind bars (obviously) All the above in my youth. Since then: Seen pink dolphins off Hong Kong Gambled in Vegas Visited Japan Contributed well over £10k to the NSPCC Have 2 brilliant sons Seen AC/DC live That's10. I have loads more. Plenty still left on the bucket list.
I have climbed both K2 and Everest Eaten 40 Cream Crackers in one sitting Fell in love with a calf Spent time with Led Zeppelin Got a first in Art & Design from St Martins Rescued four stranded ladies trapped by flood waters Cut a shire horse up with a chainsaw Walked through every country in the South America Been arrested inside a commercial washing machine Messed myself in Macdonalds Have the Underground Tube Map tattooed on my back
Here’s my list (all true). I’ve... Stood at the urinals next to Chris Coleman (at the Liberty) and Ian Macaskill (at the Botley Park Hotel); Farted loudly in a lift at Twickers much to the displeasure of Jeremy Guscott; Had my life threatened by a drunk Vietnam veteran in a bar in the middle of nowhere in Newport News (he told me he could bury me someplace I’d never be found, only to then decide that my colleague from New Jersey was an even bigger pussy than the limey); Shagged a bird within two weeks of her returning from her honeymoon, eventually marrying her, only for her to shag someone else within two weeks of our honeymoon (go figure!); Pissed up against the wall some bloke’s dropped wages packet, with a mate, then looked him up in the phone book and drunkenly called him up to thank him (he wasn’t wholly amused); Snorkelled the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Townsville, where I swallowed a substantial amount of the sea after a Japanese tourist kicked me in the stomach; Participated in a Jay Leno sketch at the Burbank Bar & Grill by agreeing to eat my meal with a rather attractive Russian bint (that I shouldn’t have been with) as an extra within shot of the main actors; Got a good kicking from a bunch of Portsmouth fans the evening after they failed to gain promotion to the old First Division in favour of Wimbledon; Got booed off a karaoke stage in Fuertaventura by a gang of blue-rinsed septuagenarians for my pissed up version of The Monkees’ “Last Train To Clarksville”; and Shared a pint and some agreeable banter with Sir Rannulph Fiennes at a bar in Cambridge without realising who he was until he was later introduced as the after-dinner speaker.
I remember once going up to the top paddock one morning to bridle up the dray and... ...oh, the horrors!
1. I've got a black belt in karate. 2. Completed the Knowledge of London. 3. Played drums with Paul Cook from the Sex Pistols 4. Got drunk with Trevor Sinclair in the first class bar on a Virgin flight to Dubai. ( Probably no longer a claim to fame now. ) 5. Passed my PADI and Scuba dived with sharks in the Bahamas on my first open water dive. 6. Been in Gwyneth Paltrow's house in Knightsbridge ... please log in to view this image 7. Flown and landed a plane with a BA flight instructor at Beaconsfield airfield. 8. Was involved with a double decker crash underneath the Golden Gate Bridge and had to rescue three women from the wreckage. ( Woman driver forgot that she was driving a single decker and not a double decker. Apologies for the sexism. ) 9. Had a helicopter flight over Grand Canyon, Grouse Mountain, Vancouver, Orlando and New York City, ( Sorry to top you Soops. My cat's blacker than yours. ) 10. Seen Messi, Ronaldo, Rooney, Henry, Eto'o Iniesta, Xavi, Pique, Puyol & Rio Ferdinand play on the the same pitch at the stadio olimpico Rome 2009. 11. Saved countless lives across London in fires, railway incidents, and road traffic collisions ( and other stuff ) during my time, in near 30 years, serving with the London Fire Brigade. None more so than my best mates brother in law who's fiance who died in the same incident towards the end of my career. Sad times.
I guess your Helicopter flight over NYC ended a lot better than that of the 5 people who died when their helicopter crashed into the East River Sunday.
Did a smaller peak today to get used to the altitude. ****ing tough stuff. 25 miles or so up and down.
Ok, let’s try not to get all Four Yorkshireman, however.... 1. Had a beer with Bruce Grobelaar and got the inside story about what actually happened to make him land one on McManaman on the pitch. 2. Gave (thankfully) good golfing advice to Sean Connery 3. Got locked inside the Empire State Building, one floor below the observation deck. 4. On a visit to a south coast pub, stood in for a no show and won through four rounds to become Pub Pool Champion Of Hastings in the mid 80s. 5. Kissed Katy Manning aka Jo Grant, possibly the most attractive Dr Who companion ever (ok, I was only 8, but it still counts) 6. Argued Theresa May’s husband to a standstill on the doorstep in the run up to last years election. 7. Eaten lunch and chatted all things music with Rick Wakeman. 8. Driven around Castle Combe racetrack at 140mph in a turbocharged Caterham. 9. Travelled with a street theatre group and performed around Spain, including in the Plaza Major in Madrid. 10. Waltzed with the missus to Mozart in the main square in Salzburg.
1.Got a Masters degree 2.Performed on the main stage Glastonbury 60K 3.Been in a Hollywood movie and starred in the WestEnd 4.Won a kickboxing title, now I can just lift my leg 5.Joined Paras at 17 6.Dated a top actress 7.I was highest fundraiser for 4 consecutive years for our local hospital. (bloody proud of that). 8. Own a house in France and have lived abroad 9. Seen death and it still haunts me today. 10. Was involved in an armed robbery (not me doing it) Armed Triads robbed a Chinese restaurant that I was eating in.
