1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    At this time of the year, there's nothing I like better than sitting in front of a roaring fire with a glass of mulled wine, a bag of roasted chestnuts, and singing Christmas carols.

    Mind you, it meant I lost my job as a fireman!
     
    #3241
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    The AA have warned anyone travelling in icy conditions to carry a shovel, sleeping bag, 24 hours worth of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt and a torch.

    I felt like a right idiot on the bus....
     
    #3242
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3243
  4. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2017
    Messages:
    8,968
    Likes Received:
    9,004
    What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

    Half of Essex
     
    #3244
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    VEGETARIANS:- Robert Plant makes an ideal alternative to Meat Loaf.
     
    #3245
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    The downside of being a bomb disposal technician is that it takes me six hours to open my Christmas presents.
     
    #3246
    Makemstine Roger, UTRs and kiwiqpr like this.
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,581
    Likes Received:
    233,586
    please log in to view this image

    When you write a letter to Satan instead of Santa asking for a puppy.
     
    #3247
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,581
    Likes Received:
    233,586
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3248
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,581
    Likes Received:
    233,586
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3249
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,581
    Likes Received:
    233,586

  11. peter1954qpr

    peter1954qpr Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    3,864
    Likes Received:
    2,430
    Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in,” he tells them, “you must each produce something representative of the holidays.”
    The first man digs into his pockets and pulls out a match and lights it. “This represents a candle of hope.” Impressed, Peter lets him in.
    The second man pulls out a tangle of keys and shakes them. “These are bells.” He’s allowed in too.
    “So,” Peter says to the third man, “what do you have?”
    The third man proudly shows him a pair of red panties.
    “What do these have to do with Christmas?” asks Peter.
    “They’re Carol’s.”

    <doh>:headbang:
     
    #3251
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3252
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3253
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3254
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3255
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    Welsh film remakes soon to be released:-

    An American Werewolf in Powys
    Huw Dares Gwyneth
    Dai Hard
    The Wizard of Oswestry
    Cool Hand Look-you
    Sheepless in Seattle
    The Eagle has Llandudno
     
    #3256
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    This is the wurst tree I've seen this year

    please log in to view this image
     
    #3257
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    Irish animal rights protesters broke into a Turkey farm outside Dublin last night, they escaped with 5,000 Turkeys.

    A spokesman for the gang said, "We will be releasing the birds back into the wild, just as soon as they have been defrosted!"
     
    #3258
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,306
    Likes Received:
    296,019
    Irish animal rights protesters broke into a Turkey farm outside Dublin last night, they escaped with 5,000 Turkeys.

    A spokesman for the gang said, "We will be releasing the birds back into the wild, just as soon as they have been defrosted!"
     
    #3259
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and UTRs like this.
  20. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    Funnier the first time!
     
    #3260

Share This Page