Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

Skewered and grilled...............................Shishk Ehab

 

The (aptly named) town where chemical releases have created 5 legged dogs and three legged people.

http://irishpost.co.uk/irish-villagers-complain-viagra-plant-fumes-men-dogs-walking-around-hard-ons/

RESIDENTS of a tiny Irish village where Viagra is manufactured have complained that fumes from a nearby factory have been giving them a hard time.

Pharmaceutical firm Pfizer have produced the erectile dysfunction drug in Ringaskiddy, Co. Cork for the last two decades.

Villagers claim that Ringaskiddy’s proximity to the plant and its “love fumes” has been giving local men – and even their canine friends – enormous sexual powers.

Barmaid Debbie O’Grady told the Sunday Times: “One whiff and you’re stiff. We’ve been getting the love fumes for years now for free.”

Ms O’Grady’s mother, Sadie, said that living in Ringaskiddy is a blessing for men who suffer “problems in that department”, adding that there is “something in the air”.

The widower added: “I’m a flirtatious woman, a lot of us are. You just have to have a spark, that’s all. There’s a lovely man waiting down the road for me”.

Pfizer said in a statement that the stiff whiff was nothing more than an “amusing” myth, but there were no hard feelings.

“Our manufacturing processes have always been highly sophisticated as well as highly regulated,” they said.

Nevertheless, residents remain scared stiff that something more sinister is going on.

Psychiatric nurse Fiona Toomey, who recently returned to the village after five years in America, said that local dogs “walk around in a state of sexual excitement”.

“I think that Viagra must have got into the water supply,” she said.

“I’m convinced that’s what happened at the very beginning before they were so closely regulated.”

 

I Was Philip K Dick's Reluctant Host
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08dnkgw

 

please log in to view this image

 

Investigations for race fixing underway after pictures of the winner crossing the line at the Edinburgh Marathon.

please log in to view this image

 

please log in to view this image

 

I’ll have em. Where do u live Dutch?

 

Mrs. LBIA's a cheeky ****er, she wants to know who's scales I was stood on.

Edit:- cheeky ****'s now asking why I had an erection ffs!

 

http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

e.g.

please log in to view this image

 

Kinell Ehab, first it was the Airco trampolines, now this. You tight bastard...

 

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "10 shots of whiskey !"

The bartender asks "What's the matter ?"

The man says "Well today, I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. Again the bartender asks " What's wrong this time ?"

The man replies "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day the same man comes back and orders another 15 shots of whiskey.

"Bloody hell, not again. Doesn't anyone in your family like women ?", the bartender says.

The man looks up and says "Well apparently my wife does !"

 

Apart from it obviously being Enob, errr those two feet don’t match, unless he’s had a foot transplant...either that or I’m missing summat.

 

Obviously couldn't spell stanchions.

 

Why spend all that money at B&Q for a rockery, when you can just gather your own?

please log in to view this image

 

please log in to view this image

 

please log in to view this image

 

Man walks into a bar and orders 5 whiskys.

The barman says "What you celebrating pal?"

"First blow job" says the young man.

"Congratulations Fella" Says the barman with a knowing wink. " Let me get you a sixth on the house".

"No thanks" Says the lad "If the first 5 didn't take the taste away nothing will"