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Match Day Thread Chelsea v Newcastle United

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Hung Drawn and Quartered, Nov 29, 2017.

  1. Hung Drawn and Quartered

    Hung Drawn and Quartered Well-Known Member

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    In response to crying-beelin Albert whatever

    I index.jpg v images.jpg

    index1.jpg v index.jpg

    Che£sea v Newcastle
    Saturday 2nd December
    live on Sky 12.30

    Newcastle's only PL victory at Chelsea came in May 2012, 2-0 thanks to a brace by Papiss Cisse.
    so we are due a win <laugh>
    and will be backed by a sold-out away section of 3,000 supporters (incredible really considering our record here)


    Chelsea play at Stamford Bridge but did you know that The Battle of Stamford Bridge has
    nothing to do with the troubles at Chelski during the 70's, 80's etc
    and that Stamford Bridge is a village in East Riding of Yorkshire
    The Battle of Stamford Bridge took place on 25 September 1066, between an English army under King Harold Godwinson and an invading Norwegian force led by King Harald Hardrada (no relation to our current player)

    Toon Team News
    who knows who Rafa will play - Jamaal Lascelles, Christian Atsu and Paul Dummett are still out Ritchie may have to play with a protective cast on his wrist




    but if he plays Shelvey ??
    Jonjo Shelvey has scored PL goals against Chelsea for both Swansea City and Liverpool. He could become only the second midfielder inh istory to score versus Chelsea with three or more teams, after Gary Speed.

    Chelsea manager Antonio Conte has been charged by the Football Association with misconduct following his dismissal against Swansea City.
    but will still be in the technical area as the FA fanny on till his Tuesday hearing

    Looks like he's accepted the charge but will only pay a fine
    Ah Well, as they say money talks

    Ref:- Kevin Friend (I hope we can say he is after the game)
    last seen reffing our game away to Southampton
    0 red cards issued so far this season
    with only 15 yellow cards in 7 games
    has given 2 penalties this season 1 against us
    when he was conned by Shane Long at Southampton

    Lino's are Constantine Hatzidakis and Matthew Wilkes
    4th official is Roger East


    My Earliest memories of Chelsea v Newcastle
    24 Mar 1973, Newcastle United v Chelsea, D, 1-1, League Division One.
    20 Oct 1973, Newcastle United v Chelsea, W, 2-0, League Division One.
    16 Mar 1974, Chelsea v Newcastle United, L, 1-0, League Division One.

    best game seen, 16 Nov 1974, Newcastle United v Chelsea, L, 5-0,
    most dissapointing game seen - to many to list

    head to head
    Chelsea (77)
    Newcastle United (75)

    Results
    Total- % Results Total - %
    Chelsea 44 - 33.88 Newcastle United 38- 28.5
    Newcastle United 12 - 9.24 Chelsea 18 -13.5
    Draws 21 - 16.17 Draws 19 - 14.63
    Goals Total Av.pg Goals Total Av.pg
    Chelsea 149 - 1.94 Newcastle United 111 - 1.48
    Newcastle United 80 -1.04 Chelsea 81 -1.08


    updated
     
    #1
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2017
  2. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    Piss poor effort. I wanna see a thorough pre-match analysis.

    And it's beelin not crying.
     
    #2
    Marra SAFC 77 likes this.
  3. Hung Drawn and Quartered

    Hung Drawn and Quartered Well-Known Member

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    we will win
     
    #3
  4. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    Now THAT should have been the match thread
     
    #4
  5. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    We will get beat 5-2.
     
    #5
  6. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    5-0 or 2-2.
     
    #6

  7. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion Forum Moderator

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    Beelin.
     
    #7
  8. GeordieHalfbreed

    GeordieHalfbreed Well-Known Member

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    Conte sent off for Chelsea. He won't get a touchline ban though, will he? Or at least not in time for our game.
     
    #8
  9. anyobrien

    anyobrien Well-Known Member

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    3.0 loss
     
    #9
  10. General Lee Speaking

    General Lee Speaking Well-Known Member

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    Convincing defeat. How the **** are we going to score against these? Our 2 centre backs are top scorers for us along with Joselu on 2 goals. If Lascelles and Dummett come back in maybe we can keep the score down a bit.

    4-0 Chelsea

    EDIT: Mitrovic is also on 2 goals (1 in EPL, 1 in cup) despite having barely played this season. Hint, hint Rafa.
     
    #10
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2017
  11. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    I think we need to stop messing around with these **** strikers and sign two cheap but prolific strikers in the January window. I know everybody says that strikers of this ilk are in great demand but I noticed two that no-one seems to be talking about who have already scored a remarkable 67 goals between them this season.












    I reckon we should put in offers for Owen Goals (10) and Seth Pieces (57) as soon as the window opens.
     
    #11
  12. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    Reckon that come from behind point midweek has turned the corner for us. Players will be full of confidence knowing:
    1) they have the guts, determination and ability to come back from difficult situations
    2) Pardew and Carver won't be coming back to Newcastle anytime soon as they have just signed up to relegate West Brom
    3) the club sale has been done and dusted for two days according to Albert and their Christmas bonuses should be huge including a years supply of oil, two camels and a winter break in Mekkah

    I predict a narrow 2-1 win for us with goals from Rudiger (OG) and Cahill (OG)
     
    #12
    Lord Jonjomort and Marra SAFC 77 like this.
  13. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Are you sure you don't mean 6.
     
    #13
  14. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    Our fingers only count up to 5.
     
    #14
    Seabass and GeordieHalfbreed like this.
  15. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Use one of your two knobs the one in your pants and Dorty. <laugh>
     
    #15
  16. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    I’m too busy using them on your lass :1980_boogie_down:

    #airtight
     
    #16
  17. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    I'm gay? I was wondering why Bubba was off colour.<laugh>:1980_boogie_down:
     
    #17
    J. J. McClure likes this.
  18. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    Bubba cooks a mean breakfast dude. Not as good as your sisters though :1980_boogie_down:
     
    #18
  19. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    ???????????? Bubba is my sister.:emoticon-0136-giggl
     
    #19
  20. Beardsleymagic08

    Beardsleymagic08 Member

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    Anyone know if we'll be able to get a beer at the ground. Been a few times when they haven't been serving
     
    #20

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