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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Q: What's the cure for marriage?

    A: Alcoholism.
     
    #2361
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2017
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Q: Why did God give men penises?

    A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
     
    #2362
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and 2 others like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2363
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2017
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2364
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2017
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2365
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2017
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2366
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2017
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2367
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2017
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    • One day, the Pope ended his sermon with the Latin phrase "Tuti Homini" which means "blessed be mankind".
    • The next Sunday, a women"s activist group came up and said, "well, you blessed mankind why not womankind?"
    • So the pope ended his sermon the next Sunday with "Tuti Homini et Tuti Feminini", "blessed be mankind and blessed be womankind".
    • The next Sunday, a gay rights group came up and said, "well, you blessed mankind and womankind, what about us gays, you prejudiced prick? Are you going bless us too?"
    • At the end of the next sermon he says, "Tuti Homini et Tuti Feminini et Tuti Fruiti."
     
    #2368
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2369
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2370
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2371
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2372
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2373
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Ryanair pilot shortage over.

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    #2374
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #2375
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Me and the wife went up to the Ryanair check-in desk. The clerk said, "Do you have reservations?"

    I replied "Yes, but we're flying with you anyway!"
     
    #2376
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My 7 year old son got sent home from school yesterday for chewing gum in class.

    I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking!
     
    #2377
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I've got a job interview today to become an Argos delivery driver.

    To show them that I'll fit in well, I'm going to turn up anytime I like between 7am and 7pm.
     
    #2378
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    It's my wife's birthday today, so I'm taking her out tonight to that place where you can drink as much as you like for £4.50.

    The swimming baths.
     
    #2379
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2017
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Jurgen Klopp the worst pool manager since Michael Barrymore.
     
    #2380
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 1, 2017
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Page 119 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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