"Doctor, the invisible man has arrived and says he has an appointment with you" "Tell him I can't see him"
Is Google male or female? Definitely female as it never let's you finish a sentence without piping up with a suggestion.
My mate got pulled over for speeding yesterday and the copper asked him to take a breathyliser... "sorry constable can't do that" said my mate handing over a card that said: "Registered asthmatic, should avoid polymers" "Then I'll have to ask you to take a blood test sir". "Sorry can't do that officer" said my mate handing over a card that said: " Registered Heamophyliac, should avoid injections" "OK then sir, a urine test it is then" "Sorry can't do that officer" said my mate handing over a card that said" "Liverpool FC Supporters Club Membership - Please Don't Take The Piss!"
There is nothing like the joy on a kids face at xmas, seeing the playstation box containing the sock i got him.
Man takes his wife for a trip to the holyland. Whilst in Jerusalem the wife dies. Not sure what to do the bloke asks at tourist information what he can do. "Well sir you can pay £3000 to take the deceased home to be buried or we can bury her free here in Jerusalem" The husband replies "Think I will pay the £3k and take her back home, last time you lot buried someone here he was alive again in 3 days and I ain't taking the risk"
