1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

**** jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017.

  1. seabreeze

    seabreeze Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2015
    Messages:
    10,098
    Likes Received:
    7,293
    What's the worst thing about crotchless panties ? ............Your balls hang out .
     
    #201
  2. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    123,801
    Likes Received:
    71,930
    Israeli how he does it ?
     
    #202
    Number 1 Jasper likes this.
  3. seabreeze

    seabreeze Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2015
    Messages:
    10,098
    Likes Received:
    7,293
    Why does a giraffe have such a long neck ? ... Because his head is so far from his body ..
     
    #203
    DerekTheMole likes this.
  4. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    73,537
    Likes Received:
    39,061
    Why does every bride smile when she walks down the aisle?

    ... coz she knows she's given her last blow job.
     
    #204
  5. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,571
    Likes Received:
    9,877
    Jew would think so
     
    #205
    Spurlock and PINKIE like this.
  6. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    123,801
    Likes Received:
    71,930
    <laugh>
     
    #206
  7. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    123,801
    Likes Received:
    71,930
    Did you hear Mick Hucknall is up on sex charges? He was caught having sex with a rabbit. He was holding back the ears, but bunny's to tight to mention x
     
    #207
  8. The World's untidiest man died yesterday. His body is now lying in a state.
     
    #208
    Burly Hurley and SpursDisciple like this.

  9. That's not down to dyslexia, though, is it.

    That's down to sheer ****ing ignorance.
     
    #209
  10. West Mersea police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.
     
    #210

  11. After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he’s looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.
     
    #211
  12. It's being reported that there has been a collision in the English Channel. A ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned.
     
    #212
  13. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass, motorists are told to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
     
    #213
    commachio likes this.
  14. J๏E..

    J๏E.. The King of Hearts

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2012
    Messages:
    8,237
    Likes Received:
    6,919
    Girl walking her Dachshund on a summers day, was approached by the local vicar who said, hello, you are looking good today and what a lovely dress you are wearing (panic), can I ask you name? Girl says Petal. Vicar says is that because when you were born all the flowers were blooming? Girl says Yep..

    And what a lovely little dog that is, can I ask his name? Girl says Porky, is that because he is little and looks like a sausage on legs?

    Nah, he ****s pigs..<ok>
     
    #214
    Burly Hurley and seabreeze like this.
  15. We’ve just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.
     
    #215
  16. George Thrakes, the building contractor who was jailed last year for supplying millions of pounds worth of defective building materials to the Government, escaped from Wormwood Scrubs today when the front fell off.
     
    #216
  17. J๏E..

    J๏E.. The King of Hearts

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2012
    Messages:
    8,237
    Likes Received:
    6,919
    Cracking thread btw..<ok>
     
    #217
    remembercolinlee and PINKIE like this.
  18. The Ginger Marks

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    40,564
    Likes Received:
    16,202
    “In a drive to improve standards in service and hygiene, a West End hotel today dismissed a waiter for having his thumb in the soup. They also dismissed a topless waitress for two similar offences.”

    gotta love Ronnie Corbett <whistle>
     
    #218
    remembercolinlee likes this.
  19. seabreeze

    seabreeze Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2015
    Messages:
    10,098
    Likes Received:
    7,293
    What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree ? ... A crow with a machine gun ...
     
    #219
  20. seabreeze

    seabreeze Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2015
    Messages:
    10,098
    Likes Received:
    7,293
    What's orange and lays at the bottom of a tree ? ... A wounded cheezy
     
    #220

Share This Page