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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1941
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1942
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1943
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1944
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2017
    San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1945
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1946
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1947
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1948
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1949
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  10. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    My wife has a big Cnut.
    ..............Me!
     
    #1950
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2017
    Didley Squat, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1951
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, English scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.
    Not to be outdone by the English, in the weeks that followed, Scottish scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read; Scottish archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the English.
    One week later, Irish newspapers reported the following:
    After digging as deep as 5000 meters in a County Mayo bog, Irish scientists have found absolutely nothing.
    They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Ireland"s inhabitants were already using wireless technology.
     
    #1952
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Dave comes home from work early one day.
    He walks in to the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the floor.
    He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the air for a few seconds, before he can"t take it any more.
    Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides in and gives her the pounding of her life until they both orgasm loudly.
    Then he zips himself up, gets to his feet and kicks her up the arse as hard as he can.
    "What the f*ck was that for?!" she screams at him.
    "That was for not turning round to see who it was." he replies.
     
    #1953
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1954
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #1955
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2017
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #1956
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2017
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Some bloke walked up to the counter today and said, "Burger and Fries please."

    "Certainly sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?"

    "F*ck off you prick," he snapped before walking off with his food.

    I f*cking love working in the prison canteen.
     
    #1957
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2017
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I think my loan shark want's a game of cricket.

    He's walking down my driveway holding a bat.
     
    #1958
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2017
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #1959
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2017
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    #1960
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2017
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Page 98 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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