Dreary Me

In ye pop etc

 

Your a ****

 

Their is no way your catching me out.

 

I've saw all the tricks mate

 

right, enough, it's too early for this ****e

 

I'm on damp squids here

 

Time to fess up Tobes, what do you do that is so cool?

You are one redundancy away from sleeping on a friends couch (I use the word friend in its broadest sense) or living in a squat. If you are into the whole anti-establishment bit then I have to confess you are too cool for school daddy-o and my dull life of full time employment, mortgage, 2 kids, 2 cars, 2 holidays a year and all the trappings of middle-class suburbia make me as un-cool as can be.

What is your definition of cool anyway? Is it subjective or objective (I never know)?

Every week you say you are doing the same sh*t - eating pizza, getting stoned and playing video games. That might seem like the perfect life to a 14 year old cock botherer but you are a grown man, time you shaped up sonny. Some people on here would say what you need is a dose of National Service.

 

Pistols at dawn de sheathed

 

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Your day-to-day existence could be parodied into some depressing boring middle-class sitcom like Outnumbered, but with even less laughs

You come on here looking down on people for having fun, yet have the most soul-crushingly depressing existence.

You claimed to be cool too

 

Being mortgaged up to your wazzoo working for the council as a housing officer and trapped in a sexually frustrating marriage is what's known as conformity.

Take away from that alcohol nicotine and illegal drugs then unless you are a Base jumper surfer pro skateboarder or play sax in a jazz band you are not cool.

Jamie Oliver chucking the old bangers in wiv the sketti is not cool so trying to be like him is terribly uncool.

Threatening to spend money on a guitar is not cool and you know your wife would tell you off if you bought the one you liked and would make you feel guilty if you ever played it.
You may have more security than Toby but Toby has a cooler lifestyle.

As you say

Case closed

 

None of them are cool for ****'s sake.

Only cool **** on here is @bucks_is_leeds

 

Bucky is coolness personified.

 

Bucks fir pm

 

It's a good job Gambol isn't here to see this

 

You call living hand-to-mouth under constant threat of getting the sack because I.T. jockeys are ten a penny a lifestyle? Once a week sniff of Olga's knickers followed by kale pizza and Minecraft is cool? Maybe you and Tobes could move in and do your own sitcom Men Behaving Like Utter C.unts.

Cooler lifestyle

 

Grove is doing a bit of styling today folks

 

BBC3 were going to do a sitcom of your life but all the writers committed suicide half way through reading the source material

 

@uttercunt you taking this pish ?

 

He's away to evaluate his mid life crisis, cruising around in a volvo listening to Phil Collins with the volume pumped up.