We've all been there, on holiday somewhere with family ect and theres a match on the box you really wanna watch but if you do, you know it could end in divorce or worse...'the dreaded silence..' My most recent was Ipswich v West Brom..it was our first holiday for a while and Roy Keanes first (full season) game..expectations were high..we had ended the previous season on a run of wins ending by beating Cardiff away, Roy had splashed some of Marcus' cash, we all knew this was promotion season and WBA was a big test, they would be a benchmark of how we could do... We were on the second day, the day of the match and I casually mentioned the game to which the response came ' its a good job its not on the telly then '...my heart sunk and I knew what I had to do...fortunatley we were in a place in Menorca where there weren't many Brits and as such no 'english' pubs with sky, then by pure chance, whilst aimlessly wandering around shops looking for the worlds largest inflatable I spotted a small bar of the beaten track, the Gods had looked down upon me, I quickly stuck my head in - SKY !!!!! - in Delboy french I managed to ask the spanish barman if they were having the Ipswich match on to which he replied ' si ' , I looked blank and he said yes. All I needed now was a plan... Twenty minutes before kick off while being over attentive to my offspring on the beach I turned to the wife and asked her if her tummy was ok after the fish offering we had eaten the previous night...to my pure delight she mentioned that it was a bit dodgy but was grateful that she hadn't had as much as me !!!!!! The Lord and the Devil had now joined forces and the script was written...holding my lower abdomen I told her that I would have to return to the hotel to discharge the aformentioned fish supper. King Neptune had now rung the Lord and texted the Devil who had been to dinner with all the Greek Gods ....as she said ' have a lie down babe I'll bring the kids back later ' I now had time to watch the whole game, and I looked to the skies as I shamefully shuffled off , slightly bent over in a stomach cramping style as wifey told the enquiring kids that ' daddies not to well '. Once out of sight my stoop disappeared into a brisk walk and soon my spanish barfriend was pouring me a cold larger as Mr Keys and Gray introduced me to the teams... Unfortunately we lost 3-1 (I think) and a dissappointing season was about to unfold. My betrayal was outed a year later when my mates wife unknowingly spilled the beans...but I'm still married, still alive and still following the Blues.
I know the feeling Cheddy! I was in Crete a couple of years ago around the time that dear Sir Bobby passed away. Went into a bar for a quick sniffter and low and behold the footie was on and we were playing Coventry away for our first game. Seemed rude not to stay and watch much to the annoyance of Mrs Moustache! Lots of expectation as this was the first game of the new season under Roy Keane and after a reasonable start we got beaten. Most peed off and Mrs Moustache was annoyed at my constant swearing at the TV in front of a load of bemused Germans! I was gutted especially after the euphoria of hearing that Colchester had battered the Scummers 7-1 at Carrot Rud! That set the scene for the rest of that season! Only the rather touching service for Sir Bobby at the Newcastle game gave me any pride to be a Townie that year!
Well, slightly a different way of nearly landing me in it...! Was in Riga recently with a friend for Cardiff v Ipswich. Finally found a telly with it on! Started having a few beers.... we went 1-0 up I went into a happy mood ! Shouting " come on " and the likes !!! Anyway, when the second went in I went properly mental, shouting YEEESSS GET IN and loads of things like that after I'd had a few of their lovely ã1 pints ( god bless Eastern Europe ) At this point the bar owner ( Russian !! ) came in, and asked if I was on a stag do. As the locals DON'T appreciate these. I had to explain the situation but he wasn't far from attacking me I think. I was getting ready to rumble really but the situation luckily sorted itself out!
Mine was sadly rather serious. I was on holiday in Portugal and went to a bar late on, which was full of local football fans, to catch the end of the 1985 European cup final between Juventus and Liverpool . When we asked some locals what the score was and they realised we were English we were suddenly very unwelcome. Unfortunately and tragically the score that night had nothing to do with goals. Unbeknown to us we had walked in on the Heysel Stadium disaster of 29 May 1985. What a tragedy and awful night that was. Sorry to be so sombre but, I'm afraid that match really did "get us in trouble" . As Englishmen we very quickly worked out that we were not at all welcome and made a hasty exit, feeling very ashamed of our nationality.
I've never done anything like that. As soon as I find out there will be a game coming up on Sky I say straight away and that's the end of it. For the Norwich game at Carrow Road I was in London with the then Mrs LancyHampyYorky watching Primal Scream on the Saturday night. Even though we had to checkout before match time, as soon as we checked in the then Mrs LancyHampyYorky (who was a Rangers fan) spoke to the hotel and arranged to set up a big screen in the bar for us to watch it on the Sunday afternoon, so, surrounded by our bags that's exactly what we did. In fact, when I found out that my first date with the current Mrs LancyHampyYorky coincided with an England game I was horrified, there is no getting around that I hear you say. Well, simple solution - don't mention it and then arrange to meet in a bar that coincidentally has half a dozen TV screens, job's a good'un!
It's really simple JWM. You banter and chat and you are completely open and honest but you never say anything suggestive or about liking them or anything that you wouldn't say to your grandmother until you get the green light. Girls up and down the country love the accent because it's gentle, friendly and dignified
Yorky.. you don't think if you had done it sneakily that the 'then Mrs LancyHampyYorky' would or could be still the 'current Mrs LancyHampyYorky' ????
Hehe too true Yorky too true....the current Mrs Cheddy has way to much talktime but so much more fun to play with....
The current Mrs LancyHampyYorky came with airbags as standard and you get a lot more miles to the gallon.
I cancelled my honeymoon in Rome to go to Moscow for The UEFA cup game. Wife had the last laugh though as she booked me to take her to the Maldives instead....OUCH!
I remember watching the Heysel tragedy unfold as a kid on my holls in Majorca BUT The best trouble I got into was in South Africa 2010, left Mrs Pioneer back in Oz and thorougly enjoyed getting in as much trouble as posiible almost every night during the world cup! Brazil 2014 anyone?
Ha Ha Lancs me too, although Mrs Pioneer is a sceptic who probably thinks Ipswich is somewhere that recenty got flooded in Queensland!
NNNNNNNOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo on holiday for Coventry game....some good ideas here though hehe....
