Well it's that time of year when you have to put a brave face on when you open a truly terrible present in front of people.. So name and shame your most awful presents here. Mine is a truly awful tie. It has pineapples on it ffs. Who wears a tie with pineapples on ffs. Favourite is a t shirt with a warning sign stating; may start talking about golf.
Best present I gave was a good seeing to to the Mrs. She's a happy woman this morning. I've not had a **** present to be fair. I got given a Cadac by the in laws, which is a brilliant outdoor cooking contraption for the motorhome.
Got a Storm wallet that I really like. Worst would be the smellies from my brother some brand called Pro Gentleman. Sounds like a pimp.
I don't mind presents, but I just want to have a go at my mum never being happy about hers. Don't get me wrong I love her to bits, but no matter what I fcking buy her, she doesnt like it. However, my sister can do no wrong, so this time I phone my sister who tells me she's seen a pair of Laura Ashley trousers and they're on sale - "mum will love them" she says. So I buy them. Give them to her today... and she doesnt like them I give up. On her birthday my daughter (aged 12) chose a top for her. She gave it to my mum. My mum didn't like it and.... two days later gave it back to my daughter to wear. I was ****ing fuming! Anyway rant over. I'm settled in for the evening, Maigret in half an hour.
Worst - Bit 360 - a crap revolving chamber screwdriver. I'd describe it as a russian roulette screwdriver but that oversells it, a lot. As the wife watched me open it she said "It's a bit rubbish but I didn't know what to get you." Best - Optimum 9400 food mixer. I'm a foodie and this ****er does everything. The advert shows it reducing stones to dust. It has a 3 HP motor. I'm going to grind something tomorrow. Sadly, I bought it for myself.
Worst - John Barnes (Autobiography).... seriously wtf?! Best - Tickets to see The Wailer's and a 2 night stay in the Hilton. The same person got me both
Best - a Rumtopf jar Worst - Harry Potter trivial pursuit. Already got it as I bought it for Stan Jr when we went to Harry Potter World. My feckless brother gave it to me. Not that he would have bought it, that would have been left for his mammy to do for him.
Sounds cliched, but best gift was seeing the face on my little un as she opened her Barbie Mermaid (I know, it's what she wanted) Worst gift, a T shirt with Chewbacca holding a surfboard, roaring 'Surf's up Dude', and it's a size to small just to make me feel like a fat ****.
Got the most horrible red netted shirt , with puffed shoulders , from my visiting eldest sister at Christmas , worst gift ever but never said anything . Put it up in the top of the closet for years . Next thing you know my sister visited again so decided to where it in her honor . When I walked out with it on she gave me sh1t for buying such a horrible shirt ....it's then it turned into the best Christmas gift for the comedy relief
Worst. A wind up radio and lantern maybe they thought I lived in a ****ing mud hut in the middle of nowhere in Africa Best, all expenses paid holiday to Australia in 2002. Still not bettered.
