MAKE SURE you get good service at the McDonald's Drive-thru by pasting a big yellow 'M' to your windscreen and ticking a clipboard as you place your order.
Save money on expensive Ipods by thinking of your favourite tune and humming it to yourself. When you want to change tracks, think of another tune and hum that instead.
Here's one from the latest issue (I have it delivered, these days) A cat, completely covered in vaseline, with it's ears pinned back, makes an ideal low cost pet otter substitute.
I haven't bought a copy for the best part of 15 years now meowth. Do any of my favourites make the odd appearance or are they all newer characters these days? Finbarr Saunders - and his double entendres Postman Plod - He's a miserable bastard Terry ****witt - He's thick as **** Mr Logic Rodger Mellie - The man on the telly Sid The sexist - Tits ooot Spoilt Bastard Cockney ******
