Let's have a laugh.... Who can come up with some Toon related poetry? Here's my lame effort to get you started... An ode to Mike Ashley by ACS aged 13 3/4. There was a bigger lad called Fat Mike Who no Geordie ever did like He held all the cards And dealt us a Pards Then said go on get on your bike We then got a Carver Who was akin to a Charva As a coach he was 'the best' Sat there in his Sports Direct vest But once again we ended up in a palarva Finally we got Mac Our hopes we got back With Mike spending lolly We had hopes for the man with the brolly But effort we again painfully lack
There was a big lad called Obi And he loved a bit of the boabie He ate 10 big macs Then went to sam jacks And now looks as big as Moby sorry @Obi Won
When we dream, do we not dream in colours. Rainbows and dashing hues. But when we awake, our reality is black and white. Come on Mr Ashley, get your crayons out, and colour our world bright again.
There was a young fella called Dave Who found a dead whore in a cave I know it's disgusting, she only needs dusting But think of the money I'll save.
There was a young woman from Bude Who went for a swim in a lake A man in a punt stuck an oar in her ear And said " you can't swim hear it's private "
There once was a club from the North East Who once upon a time were a beast They threatened the top Then Mike Ashley got the job And now they're as **** as the reest
There was once a young man named Schteve Some fans they wanted him to leave But he buried his head Insisted his pencil had lead And promised his magic to weave There was once a young man named Schteve A top half finish he promised to achieve Sadly Schteve was a liar ended up a pariah As his team went absent without leave
There once was a manager called Schteve Whose mutterings no one would believe Whether in English or Dutch They didn't add up to much Oh fork off, Schteve, just leave
There once was a poster called RAW Who was an interminable bore He came out with a corker That he wasn't a stalker Yet he always comes running back for more
Mike Ashley, the man with the big belly, Knew his team was as solid as jelly. So he came up with a plan, that would suit every fan, make sure every game we played was live on the telly!
Take me home: You only want to, get excited Daddy took you when you were just a baby When you were five, you went down the Barrack Road (according to google maps) Now you're addicted, it's the only place you go It's your home, Geordie Road It's the place, where you belong See Newcastle, and thank Mike Ashley He hates you all, but you still go All your memories, Kevin Keegan Sir Alex and Cantona, both sent to you from 'heaven' Keegan ranted, in 1995 Keegan blew the 12 points and it was party time It's your home, Geordie Road It's the place, where you belong See Newcastle, and see Mike Ashley He hates you all, but you still go
