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Off Topic Tomboy

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Commachio, Oct 25, 2018.

  1. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Speaking of girls living in the flat above me and sex sounds.

    My first place after Uni the girl who lived above me worked at Hooters. Probably about 21 or 22.

    A few times a week this grey haired man in a silver Mercedes, probably about 50 years old, would park outside, go upstairs to her place... I'd hear banging for two minutes and then I'd see him leaving red faced.

    It was like I was living beneath a cliché.
     
    #41
  2. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Me and my missus would have a shag on the rug whilst the little one was in the bath. We could listen out for her and get 25 mins to ourselves. Then one day the little un' worked out how to get out of the bath on her own and walked in to the lounge. Now we have to wait until she's sound asleep and have a quiet shag so as not to wake her up.
     
    #42
  3. Burly Hurley

    Burly Hurley Well-Known Member

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    The freaky ones are great. For about a couple of shags! But when they start howling at the moon you know its time to get the hell out of Dodge!
     
    #43
  4. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Yeah she was smoking hot, the sort of bird you can't actually believe you've managed to nail. She had beautiful olive skin, jet black hair in long loose curls, and lovely big brown almond eyes. But after a few months of being with her, it was like treading on eggshells. She'd flip her lid at the slightest thing and she was always on the cusp of freaking out about something. She used to get annoyed with me for not getting wound up, ****ing crazy bitch. Sex was great, but being with her was tiring, it just wore me down. And at times it was downright dangerous <laugh>
     
    #44
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  5. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    That's my wife with me. We almost never get heated... Maybe about once every 18months, but when we do... She wants to fight and I tend to want to wait until the next morning to talk about it because I've learnt it only escalates if I don't.

    Makes her really angry that I ignore her when she's angry but it is the best tactic long run. <laugh>
     
    #45
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  6. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    It used to drive her ****ing nuts. She'd literally be spoiling for a fight on the daily, over the simplest of things; something like if I'd bought the wrong brand of butter could set her off. She used to get so ****ing annoyed with me because I wouldn't rise to the bait. In the end I used to find it funny at some of the trivial things she'd blow her top over and that made her even more mad <laugh> Looking back she definitely had mental health problems but I didn't realise it at the time
     
    #46
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  7. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    My god are you sure it wasn’t a man you raging BENDER! <laugh>
     
    #47
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  8. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    #48
  9. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Lovely brown almond eyes ffs.

    More like a tight brown stinkbox.
     
    #49
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  10. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Long loose curls,,,on her blurt hair
     
    #50
  11. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Loose curls... she had alopecia.
     
    #51
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  12. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Would have been the least of my worries tbh <laugh>
     
    #52
  13. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    You were smitten by her olive skin and big brown puppy eyes ffs. Probably didn't even notice she had a blue waffle.
     
    #53
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  14. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    She might have done tbh. There was enough going on to get distracted I suppose.
     
    #54
  15. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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  16. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Those Puppy eyes :tongue:
     
    #56
  17. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Blurt like a squash raquet hitting an orange.
     
    #57
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  18. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    <laugh>
     
    #58
  19. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Sometimes I feel like I missed out on a lot getting married so young... Took myself out of the game too soon... on the plus side I avoided all the nasties that way. I took way too many gambles with that when young... I'd have never made it to 25 without something growing on my limb. I was an idiot back then. I rolled lucky.
     
    #59
  20. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Avril Lavigne was a tomboy, she’d get it.
     
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