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Off Topic Tomboy

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Commachio, Oct 25, 2018.

  1. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    <laugh>

    "I'm not a slag I just love being beat out all of the time" <rofl>
     
    #21
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  2. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Thanks mate, you've just ruined that memory for me.
     
    #22
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  3. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    But think of the enjoyment Metths will get. You selfish bastard
     
    #23
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  4. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    She was actually quite shy. She started giggling first time I leaned into kiss her (which was a bit off putting to be laughed at when you're about to kiss someone... She apologised for that later and said she was nervous)... A week later she was insatiable. So, it was either all a good act, or, yeah... She's a one dick at a time girl she just likes to have that dick all the time.

    She was a really nice girl. Dumb as a post but really nice.
     
    #24
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  5. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    I’d probably keep that statistic to myself if I were you
     
    #25
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  6. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    No fun in that.
     
    #26
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  7. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Never happened. ****ed himself off with a hollowed out aubergine all through uni.
     
    #27
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  8. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Sounds like you're speaking from experience there bruv.
     
    #28
  9. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    I have observed vegan behaviour for many years my friend.
     
    #29
  10. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    A little too closely it seems. Anyway I'd need a hollowed out Aubergine.
     
    #30

  11. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    You could probably use a courgette mate.
     
    #31
  12. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    You never been with two women at the same time bruv ?
     
    #32
  13. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Are chow mein noodles vegan?
     
    #33
  14. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Chow mine ?
     
    #34
  15. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    I’ve done all sorts pal. I once went back to a birds house in Lincoln and porked her for what seemed like hours, she was proper loud, then I went outside for a cig and her dad come down and started chatting to me about the war in Iraq. That was ****ing weird.

    I porked her and her mate a few weeks later but her mate was a stinker in all honesty.
     
    #35
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  16. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    The loudest bird I've ever been with was a half Iranian ballet dancer, she was only 5'2, but a beautiful little pocket rocket. She used to scream and moan like a banshee. Made me feel pretty good about myself though. Shame she was ****ing mental though. We had a row at London Bridge station once and the silly bitch jumped down onto the tracks, crossed the rails and climbed up the platform the other side screaming obscenities at me. <laugh>
     
    #36
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  17. Burly Hurley

    Burly Hurley Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #37
  18. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Fun dies when you have kids so you have to be quiet... Partially so that kids don't hear you and partially so that you can hear if kids are about to walk in on you.
     
    #38
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  19. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Speaking of loudest. There was an obese girl living in the flat above me at uni. She had an obese boy friend.

    They had some atheltic hard sex that would shake the ceiling and the noise from them pumping and the bed straining was disturbingly loud. It wasn't moaning or anything just creek-creek-thud over and over again.

    Actually it was quite impressive how long it lasted too. You could almost fit a pointless sidetrack dialogue scene from a Quentin Tarantino flick into their love making sessions.
     
    #39
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  20. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    That night was a nightmare. We'd been out to the theatre, which was all good. Then onto a bar, again all good until she'd had a few drinks. She couldn't handle her drink and it brought out the worst in her. She started getting loud and lary and then demanded that I took her home, so we walked to the station. Then she just blew her top and started screaming at me about some non-issue that had come up a week or so earlier. Then she was like '**** you, I'm going back into town on my own' and jumped down onto the tracks and crossed over to the other platform. I thought the stupid bitch was going to electrocute herself or get mown down by the 10:48 to Sevenoakes or something.

    ****ing shame she was mental, because she was fit as **** and absolutely wild in bed. She dumped me for some ballet dancer in her group. I often wondered if he ended up dead or deranged after being with her. Don't mind admitting she was too hot to handle for me, I think I got out at the right time. <laugh>
     
    #40
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