taking a dump

I take average 20 mins and usually take the laptop to look at this forum as I curl a few out

 

i went to saudi a couple of years back and they had those hole in the floor toilets. They are ceramic but you have to squat. Hard as **** to begin with but once you get used to them they are ****in brill.
Best ****s I ever had. They also have this little shower pipe thing that you wash you ring with once your done.

Apparently (spoke to my brother in law who is a doctor) they are better for ****ting and the ones we have are crap and give us piles and stuff as you have to force it. If you squat that is the natural way

 

I go 3 or 4 times a day sometimes more if I had a stressful day where I drank a lot of coffee

 

Yes I saw something on TV about squatting when you take a ****, aparently it lines up your bowel and the crap flows naturally.

Personally I just drink 12 pints of Blackthorn, then you can **** in pretty much any position you like

 

We may well have been separated at birth, Jordan.

 

Sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Did you never accidently deposit a log in your undies, or get a poo stripe down the back of your strides?

 

Guinness has that effect on me only you don't need 12 as 1 or 2 does the job just as well

 

lol that did bother me. **** knows how they did it but i had to ****in strip to take a ****

Its bad enough when piss gets through the seat and bog, imagine having nothing in front

I was holding onto the tap on the side (the shower thingy) with my right hand and pushing my cock down with the left, whilst naked

msut have been a picture lol

 

Depends on how often my ladies need feeding.

 

If you didn't wear such stupid Western clothes, you wouldn't get Satan's Chocolate on them.

Get squatting, heathens

 

I'd quite like a Middle-Eastern bum shower.

 

you know the guy in your avatar? I've met him and he was a really nice bloke

calls himself abu hafs (which means father of Hafs)

 

calm down, calm down, no need to lose the rag............

 

You dumb ****, a lots of Sweaties post on here and everyone knows they wear skirts with no underwear That aside I agree Western clothes can be a tad restrictive especially when you have the ****s. Next time I get the craps I`ll take your advice and turn to Islam

 

When I smoked, two or three ****es per day.
Now it's one per day and I spend a minimum of ten minutes evacuating my bowels correctly.

Tea, ***s and `coke' tends to make it happen more frequently.

 

we're like two turds in a bog

 

How long til I can change my username and avatar?

Even I'm bored of this crappy pseudonym

 

Two corn kernels in a turd, one might say.