I raced through the first half, enjoyed every word. I think he writes very well. The 100+ pages on the court case however was like cycling up hill, in top gear, with flat tyres, towing a dead ape on a trailer with no wheels, with asthma, and no legs.
If the ape had no legs it would make it lighter and therefore easier to tow. I was with you up until that point. Bit of thought next time eh?
Second draft: I raced through the first half, enjoyed every word. I think he writes very well. The 100+ pages on the court case however was like cycling up hill, in top gear, with flat tyres, with asthma, and no legs; whilst towing a dead ape on a trailer with no wheels. Please critique my prose. It's the only way I'll improve.
The ape had asthma and is now dead. You've got it now. How did you catch it? This could be Flying Aids.
Makes no sense. If it was 'on' the trailer it implies the trailer had no side walls, if that was the case it would slide off seeing as though you're going up hill. If the trailer had side walls surely it would be 'in' the trailer and not 'on' the trailer. I suppose the incline of the hill would be a factor but you haven't specified what that is. Disappointing really.
1 in 4. Or 25% as your modern sign would have it. Trailer would be an old Weeks model. Designed for the agricultural market. Metal sides and back. Easily sturdy enough to contain a dead ape.
So it is 'in' the trailer. I thought as much and suspected you'd be using a Weeks, hence why I never questioned the suitability of your chosen trailer. We're getting there, slowly but surely but we are getting there.
Where are you taking the dead ape, is there something you need to share with us; you can feel secure, there's just Carmine and me. Where you close, did the ape have a name, was it a West Ham ape? Tell me you weren't, Ernie.
A very pertinent point made by Fez. Just where the frig are you taking this ape? This needs answering with the utmost of urgency.
It's an allegorical ape. Its literary function is to represent the metaphorical weight which makes the reading of the said part of Morrissey's biography hard work, like such a cycle based endeavour would be. It's not a real ape. I've never dragged a real ape uphill. Real ape dragging should only be attempted on the flat or a slight downward incline.
What about the trailer, is that real? Cos it sounds pretty handy and I wouldnt mind borrowing it once you've sorted the wheels out.
Trailer's real. But unless you can source a new universal joint it'll never go round corners. Even if you could sort the wheels out, which are an imperial size. Can't find the correct bearings. I'll take 150 for the bed though.
What do you want it for? By sounds of things his trailer's in rag order, it's not road worthy and isn't a viable option. I can get my hands on a Berlingo if you need to lug some stuff about.
I dont need need it. I just want one. I used to have a trailer but I was made to see i didnt need it as it was "taking up space" Not like hundreds of pairs of shoes take up space is it!! I could do with a wheel barrer too.
Have you ever thought of buying a burger van? A bit of a random question but I have. Money to be earned if you know what you're doing I reckon.
Your ****ing kidding. I've been talking about this for ages. Own boss, open road. Going round doing the festivals.
