Sorry to disappoint

....but I won't be joining all you ****s in the fires of hell. Just got off the phone to a bird to start volunteering in A&E at Hairmyres

"Trust me, I'm a doctor. Get your baps out and show us yer fanny"

Shipman was an amatuer.....I'm going pro

 

this is one gay post. cant think of anythin worse

 

I need to do it nev to let me quit this job and get a place studying medicine. Been told I'll be accepted on the course if I get some experience for a few months

 

You're gonna be wiping the arses of paraletic jakies for the next few months.

 

a thot u wer doin it out of the goodness of ur heart.

 

**** that nev I'm doing it because I have to

Venom, I'm used to it. I wipe my own a good few times a day

 

Aye but I reckon you shower a lot more often than Harry Ramps do.

 

A & E will be like a ****ing war zone at weekends. You'll need a Kevlar waistcoat ML

 

It would surprise you venom

Staggie a&e admissions at weekends will drop dramatically if I'm working there and not on the booze myself

 

There are boys out here who don't shower. ****ing clatty bastards, some folk wear clothes for days too. The worst thing about it is that you get all your washing done for you.

 

**** that, I have a shower every morning and most nights. I only wear a t shirt a maximum of twice before washing it. If I got my washing done for me I would probably keep getting them to clean my clean clothes over and over

 

Sometimes I take some dirty clothes out here with me just to get them washed and ironed by someone else. I usually take a shirt out here too so I've got a clean one for going out when I get home.

 

good for you ML, i give blood occasionally and every time i do i feel like i've cured cancer

 

I would give blood but doubt they'd take my chemical laced filth. Not sure that grass and cocaine make for healthy blood.

 

i generally cant be arsed, i'm either too hungover or in the process of getting pissed so hardly ever went. afghan was malarial so at least i've got an excuse for a year or so!

 

I only give blood when tests are needing done ****ing hate giving it. I'm aneamic a lot of the time so they would refuse my blood

I'm actually looking forward to starting. Meeting the woman in 2 weeks to sort everything out. Will be working in here during the day, then in a&e at nights and weekends. Going to save an absolute **** load of money by not going out over the weekends

 

Think how many numbers you'll be able to get off of steamin' teenage lassies too. Just tell them it's all part of the NHS follow-up service.

 

continuing that thought, just think of all the powerful sedatives you'll be able to nick

 

Why the **** do you think I want to be a doctor?!?! It's all part of the job

As I said, Shipman was an amatuer....I'm going pro