Nicked from the Chelsea board. Teacher to class: "what does your dad do at wkends?" Little boy: "He"s a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the moneys good he has sex wiv the punters, he'll let them do anything they want. Teacher takes him aside , ''Is that true''... Little boy '' nah miss its bollox, he plays for Liverpool but im too embarrassed to say .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................... > My wife came home from Work to find me sitting watchin the football. "I've decided to leave you, all you do is talk bout football you think bout nothing else'' she said and im seeing someone else'' ''realy ?'' i said, ''what team does he support'' .................................................. .................................................. .............................. > I had a car crash the other day.A dwarf got out the other car.I said to him ''are you o.k''. he said ''im not happy''.So I said to him ''which one are you then'' __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _____________________________ > Husband says to his wife tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time" wife replies ''ok, you've got a bigger knob than your brother !! > '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''''' > A man walks into a crowded bar with a loaded gun and shouts ''who,s been ****in my wife''? Suddenly, a voice in the back shouts 'you aint got enough bullets !! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >2 indian junkies snorted curry powder instead of cocaine Both were rushed to hospital ones in a korma the other's got a dodgy tikka ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Bought the wife a fur coat made out of 3,600 hamster skins and took her to Blackpool... Couldn't get the ****er off the Big Wheel for 2 ****in days .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ......................................... > I don't know about you but I personally felt uncomfortable watching the women's weightlifting as the commentator was saying "some women's snatches are cleaner then others'' .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ................................................ > Paddy is painting his lounge,his wife walks in and says "your doin a realy good job,but why are you wearing a leather jacket AND a parker !" Paddy says '' HELLLOOOO! read the fuggin tin, it says for best results put two coats on !!!'' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Some bloke was playing a game wiv his wife. She had to guess the flavour of the condom, she couldn't wait t get started....down she goes & shouts '' Cheese n Onion'' he says '' give us a fuggin chance i aint got one on yet'' .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ................... > The other day I came home early from work to find my wife spread out on our bed vigorously awaiting my sexual advances. The poor girl was so horney for me she never even realised my mate Dave was under the bed looking for a DVD he lent me
Newcastle v Sunderland: A Mackem's Guide To Geordie Land http://www.sabotagetimes.com/reportage/newcastle-v-sunderland-a-mackems-guide-to-geordie-land/
You lads look happy in this photo (credit to Jimley for that photo) Not sure about your new strip. I hear Il Duce has dispensed with the black cat fearing it is actually bringing bad luck. View attachment 22661
Bit tetchy about Il Duce there Billy? You'd think your club has had a load of unjustified negative press
Not all negative, there was an interesting piece about the surge in the sale of Italian shoes by the Durham Gazette.
how not to take a free kick http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs...ick-ends-painful-embarrassment-100010844.html
