So, Hallowe'en...

...only got one knock at the door last night and I ignored the wee ****ers.

 

^ ****in Scrooge.

Or whatever the Halloween equivalent is.

 

So did I but I invited them in. Hoping to be on the news tonight.

 

Too ****in right. Am no gonny stand there being polite to rug rats and telling them how great their constumes are.

 

I heard gambol lies down naked in his front room covered in sweeties and tells the kids to pick what they want. He puts all the good sweets roon his baws

 

This is probably the reason why parents view unmarried blokes my age with suspicion.

 

Dolly beads wrapped tightly around his lad and chuppa chups lollies jammed up his arse

 

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Kiddie cosh

 

My neighbour called to mine with his kids then a mate called with his daughter, blasting my music the rest of the night so no idea if any others called.

My mate in Scotland was telling me that the kids there expect sweets and fruit!?!

What's that about? Over here they ask for money.

 

It's a rare treat up here.

 

Mainly sweeties, but monkey nuts and fruit as well.

 

How come when you quote ST there's a number at the end of his name?

 

When I was a kid we also got fruit in the stockings we put out for Santa

 

ST has aids. Only reason I can think of.

 

When we were younger we used to get money and if we got monkey nuts, they got thrown off the windows when we were leaving.

In more extreme cases if someone refused to give us anything we would piss on their door steps.

Ohhhhhh to be 19 again

 

An apple and a tangerine?

 

That's my home telephone number.