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Pull the Udder one

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GroveRanger, Feb 1, 2018.

  1. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    http://metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/

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    A pensioner has been banned from every farm in Britain after he allegedly pushed his fist into a cow’s rectum and performed a sex act. John Curno, 80, was found guilty of two counts of outraging public decency after he molested several cows on at least two occasions. The court heard that last summer he was spotted talking to a herd of 150 cows and masturbating in fields belonging to Park Lodge Farm in Uxbridge, west London, several times. Farmer’s wife Susan Howie said in Uxbridge Magistrates Court that she caught Curno twice with his pants and trousers round his ankles and courting her cattle, which she describes as part of her family. Curno, who uses a walking stick, was also spotted by two sisters – from their home nearby – who reported seeing him insert his left arm up to his shoulder into the back end of a cow. He then allegedly performed a solo sex act.
    During his arrest the pensioner told police: ‘I’m not a violent person, I have a weakness with animals’.


    Trust the Metro to milk this for all it's worth.
     
    #1
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  2. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    "he was spotted talking to a herd of 150 cows "

    <laugh>
     
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  3. Strange Nipples ST

    Strange Nipples ST Well-Known Member

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    Remember the bloke that got caught having sex with cow ****?
     
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  4. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    No, but what was the script with the guy shagging the exhaust pipe of a car and then somebody(probably Trev) photoshopped the picture of the Chinky snooker player?
     
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  5. Strange Nipples ST

    Strange Nipples ST Well-Known Member

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    Dunno, but when I was living in Ayr there was a bloke arrested for shagging a bicycle (not me, I hasten to add).
     
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  6. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    How does one go about shagging a bike?(not Tina). Was there not somebody arrested for sniffing bike seats not so long ago?
     
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  7. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    #7
  8. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    Probably as difficult as shagging a gorilla, but you've managed that once a week for the past 5 years.
     
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  9. Strange Nipples ST

    Strange Nipples ST Well-Known Member

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    #9
  10. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

    The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

    He now lives in Ayr.

    <laugh> a "misunderstanding"!! And did they really have to tell us that he was a "bachelor"? In saying that, 3 years on the register is a bit harsh though, not as if he was doing it in the main street.
     
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  11. EDGE.

    EDGE. Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    Video uploaded onto the Whatsapp group.

    PM @Anton McPape for EXCLUSIVE ACCESS to EXCLUSIVE CONTENT
     
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  12. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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