Just for a laugh or a wheeze And in tribute to our own TeD I decided that we should Have a poetry thread The rules of engagement are quite clear But allow me to take the time Now to point out to you that All your ditties have to rhyme I know that rule written above May not allow dear Ted in But lets be honest Don't some of his poems do your f***ing head in? It's just a joke and no offence is meant We all love a laugh and them some So put pen to paper, and don't be idle That's it, pull out your thumb All entries are surely welcome No judgement will be made by me Perhaps a mod may take that charge Even for a tiny fee So climb on board, give it a go And you may even find That we have a Rangers poster Good enough for Mastermind! I feel that I have said enough And now my poems' over I must just add that if the Rs go up I'll be in f***ing clover!
This is one I prepared earlier for the Dave Thomas thread. With socks down at his ankles That he didn't win more England caps always rankles His trickery mesmerised the opposition And often beat them into submission His crosses always hit the spot From which we scored more often than not He is only about five foot two But when you played against him you always knew As a defender you'd be turned inside out Which would usually result in a rout
Once upon a time in the west - There once was a team in the west Featuring Stanley, Gerry and the rest Everyone knew the dangers Of facing the Rangers They were quite simply the best...
There is a house in New Orleans They call The Rising Sun I could continue but I think Someones already done that one.
The story begins in ten / eleven 11 brave men and promotion heaven. We're near the top and there we will stay. No points deduction. Hip, hip hooray. It's goodbye Neil and thanks a bunch. Sparky's in when it came to the crunch We spend, spend, spend. How much is enough? We knew survival would always be tough. We wait til Stoke, Cisse CISSE One game to go at daunting Citeh. Down to ten men thanks to Joey Barton. We're safe anyway though poor old Bolton. 'Never again on my watch' Sparky cries. Seventeen matches, my how the time flies! Adel rescues pride 'gainst the Fulhamites Too late for Sparky. Ambition flies. Shining white knight, oh Harry we cry. Let's spend loads of money. There's lots in that pie. 'Well it's difficult ' he squirmes as he spends some more. Despite all the above, we're still on the trap door. And so the drop eventually feels fine. It's nice to win some from time to time. Wigan away and then at The Loft. To Wembley we go but Derby aren't soft. A Wembley day, Oh rapturous joy It's Bobby again, that fantastic boy!! We'll build and crack on to get this job done. Premiership stability would be such fun. The rest you well know. The trapdoor again. No bounce back this time. But Jimmy's a manager in his prime. So Tony & Co, 250 mill light. And were back at the start. What a terrible fright! We've started afresh and it is going well. If we learn from our past, the future? Who can tell. The Hoops and The Rangers, we fans will all stay, True to our club with all of it's frays. We have hoops from our hair to the to the tips of our toes. So come on Jimmy and the QPR Team Put a smile on our faces and make us all scream! On holiday so time to waste!
The time has come Sir Leslie said To talk of transfer deals Who should we buy, who should we sell And what if Sandro heals? We don't have 'Arry anymore So more no more old pal steals! I make you right, said JFH We don't need that old pony, We want some young and hungry lads And keep them cheap for Tony We need a striker that's for sure How much is Wilfried Bony? **** off said Les, what did I say About the players wages You have to stick to twenty grand That's what the current gauge is Look to Europe that's the way I'll get the yellow pages OK said Jim, I think you're right That's where we should go to Here's one I think will suit us well His name is Ngbakoto He's pretty cheap as well Sir Les One point five in toto That's fine said Les, he'll do for me. Now what about a scorer To bang them in the onion bag And don't say B Zamora One who'll get us twenty goals And won't make Tony poorer I've had a look around said Jim I'm sure I've found a killer To get the twenty goals we need And not just be a filler He's comes from Anderlecht you know His name's Idrissa Sylla It's looking good said SLF We've nearly done our signing Just a winger's all we need To stop the fans from whining How about that Polish lad I've heard that he's been shining The deal is done said Jimmy Floyd You can soon announce it Tony F has signed the cheque I'm sure the bank won't bounce it The only problem is his name 'Cos no one can pronounce it
As one R to another Do you remember '67? I sometimes watch the DVD And it sends me into heaven We've had so many ups and downs In my 53 years Moments of complete pure joy And many, many tears The one thing that you have to say About being a Rangers fan It's not about being plastic It's growing from boy to man There are clubs like Chelsea Whose fans are here the gone Who, when Roman does one Will all be pale and wan They do not have the passion And nor the club at heart They have players like Terry Who shagged some old tart Then there is manure Whose fans don't really know Where the f**k Old Trafford is It's really a poor show 'I am a Manure fan' Says the man in the red shirt 'I live in eastern Fiji Although with Citeh, I did once flirt' At least at HQ Loftus Road One thing we know is true We all love the super hoops Not those c**ts down the road in blue It is a roller coaster I think you have to say But would really have it Any other way?
Ted, Ted, What can be said About the poet in our midst His posts sometimes seem a bit jumbled, I think he may be pissed This board, he says Is the best Far better than Fantasy Island Of course it is We passed the test Including those posters from Ireland! 999s 999s, our chief mod He keeps our house in order Oh, what a difficult job To keep us all from disorder His matchday threads are classic With loads of great information I'm sure they miss him lots, Down at the Fire Station Beth, Beth Our stand out lady poster She knows, Just like the rest of us, That following our club is a rollercoaster Kiwi posts from afar, As do many other soothsayers, And each of us always wants the best effort, from all our players Politics, music, cheese and beer Football's not our only game Plenty to discuss on here, It would be boring if we were all the same Thursday, Thursday they shout There must be some news coming But in the end it all turns out To be a bit of wumming Swords and Flyer and plenty more Have left us in their hordes It all may be a little quieter But this is still the best of boards Sorry to all those, who I have missed I think I need a drink I'll go and have a nice beer To give me time to think
The sunshine streams across the pitch The noise begins to build The anticipation rises As Loftus Road is filled The atmosphere is tangible My nerves begin to fray For it's that magic moment When the Hoops come out to play The hopes are high as usual A shrill whistle starts the game Our midfield maestro's on the ball The crowd all chant his name He's beaten one,he's beaten two There's a player down with cramp He unleashes a thunderous thunderbolt That finds the postage stamp Elation hits me,like a boxer's jab I'm in a frenzied state I'm oblivious to everything I've just knocked down my mate A half time pie.and a bottle of beer A short time to reflect On what I've seen in that first half And what more to expect Off we go again,and now we're hanging on We just can't seem to get the ball A shot goes flying inches wide A seriously close call Only minutes left,come on ref Just clear the bloody thing I'm thinking of the victory And the joy that it will bring The whistle goes,i'm overjoyed As I look up at the score I stride out contentedly From the place that I adore
Sometimes I have to wonder, Why I watch this game at all. For as many times as it's lifted me, It's kicked me in the balls. Wouldn't I be better off watching something else completely, Maybe I should just watch films, Or try to follow 'strictly'. Would I then be better off, With nothing on the line, Couldn't I just find less stressful ways to fill my time? Of course, I know the answer, This is by birth, it's not my choice, I didn't need instructions to tell me what to do with my voice. Watching rangers is a metaphor, To life, we can compare, Often the stress seems far too much, The deal is plain unfair. But then consider the alternative, Follow a top team or none at all, Live a life of permanent highs, Never experience the fall. Those that do cannot imagine, The places we have been, The depths that we have sunk to, And what those moments mean. They also can't imagine, Because their scale is just too small, The feeling of elation, The rise after the fall. So for me, the R's are a perfect fit, Like my oldest pair of jeans, But I didn't need to write this, You know exactly what it means.
