Office Rules

What "unoffical" rules do you have in your office - be it for yourself or for the office as a whole.

1) Never go for a ****e in your own time i.e lunchtime/break.

 

Always knock my office door before entering in case I'm having a sly ****.

 

Always..... and I mean ****ing always lock out your laptop if you're leaving it unattended.

 

I have an upcoming disciplinary hearing because of comments i posted on Facebook about one of my managers.
It`s quite complicated but i`ll try to explain.
One of my friends who i worked with in a previous job asked me if i worked with (personA) ?on her wall. we both hated this guy and i was pissed off that he joined my company.
I answered "Yes i work with(personA) the crooked busker ****.
After about 10 minutes i edited the comment by removing his name ,then after about 20 minutes i deleted the comment.
A month later my GM called me into his office to show me a piece of A4 paper with my Avatar and my deleted comments on a photoshopped mock up of a FB page, with original comment written beneath the offending comments.
Some office bint was present to write notes , i requested a witness but refused i also got this bitch to write that at the top of the minutes.
The reason i called him a crooked busker **** was he tried to screw me over in a previous job ,he was cheating on his wife with a pig at our company and he used to play guitar on the central line for change.
I signed a form to stop me blogging about my company and to stop bullying and harassment in the work place.
This prick has actually gone out of his way to be offended by spending hours photoshopping a mock up to take to work and submit a complaint.
I will not be fired because i would be suspended at the moment so a likely outcome is that i will receive some sort of warning for my conduct.
This has pissed me off but in a way i enjoy watching these fannies practicing being HR cops and pretending to be lawyers/pigs....
Does anyone know how much scrutiny your employer can exert on you with social mediums?...
On a plus side everyone knows the guy is a crooked busker **** and a grass now..

 

Deny everything, say you don't have a facebook, tell them that someone must be trying to steal your identity, tell them to **** off

 

Sounds to me like you're trying to get out the closet.

 

I may put a complaint in about him and say he tried to touch me up, it will be funny just to watch these daft ****s in action.....

 

I never keech in my own time if I can help it.

If I'm squeezing a ****e oot, I'm getting paid for it

 

Above still applies

 

****s are for ****s

 

Sounds like you're happy to assist.

 

What about *****s?

 

Doing it for free is for *****s, though.

 

They do them in their own time


My tussles with Turdzilla are fully billable.

 

They cannot refuse you a witness can they?

 

I can deny everything they wrote down now, if they ask me to sign the minutes i will tell them to get to ****

 

Sounds like the sort of thing that would happen between two bitches.

 

I was going to post "This never happened" but it most likely did

 

Not an office-only rule, but a general one that applies to every part of life:

Don't go fer a sh*** and inhabit a cubicle that's next to one already in use. Turd neighbours is a no-no.

 

I didn`t want to get dragged into this petty mopey grassy ****athon