Off Job Hunting

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^^^

Patience delighted with her purchases

 

That Stelios character has an eye for a business opportunity. How about an easyHoStore?

No expensive brasses, just whores honestly priced.

If you only had the option of banging an estate slag at least you could expect a discount.

 

Its called shopping ffs.

 

if you're a ****

 

What the **** has a message got to do with buying a tin of beans and some eggs? Is there a secret note hidden in the beans, like the joke in a cracker? No there ain't, so where d'you get message from exactly? We anglo saxons did not give the language of Shakespeare, Hardy and Ponders to the world in order for it to be abused in such a meaningless manner.

 

Our subservient surrounding nations have *****fied our poor language...

It's still not as bad as those Yank ****s dropping 'u's everywhere and randomly changing the meaning of words

 

Probably because yer maw would put a wee message in yer bag to shopkeeper ie a shopping list

 

Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more. I've put an extra sausage in with yer mum's rhubarb.

 

I sometimes have trouble with the if/whether and like/such as conundrums. It all boils down to writing with the internal commentary on.

I can write like a scholar, but I have the most awfully common accent/vocabulary.

 

What's the internal commentary Ponders? And whose voice is it anyway? I hear quite a few, and their accents are legion.

 

There is always the danger of littering formal writing with one's own vernacular. For instance, I once wrote a piece for the Normandy tourist board and described the bus routes from Bayeux to the Overlord beaches as 'poxy'.

A good grasp of estuary-speak can come in handy at times, but most publications frown upon the 'common touch'.

Do you suffer from a multiple personality disorder?

 

Schizophrenic? I'm ****ing Quadrophenic.


What's French for "poxy"?

 

Poxy with a Clouseau-like accent

(there's no french word for 'poxy')

 

As I recall, French is not a great language for swearing in. The odd "putain, merde", and there's not much else you can really add. All those different wines and barely a handful of obscenities.

 

Inutile
Vérole

 

Deguelasse aussi, peut-etre?

 

Oui, je suis d'accord avec cela, Archers Route.