New Book

I'm gonna write one.

 

Can it have lots of pictures in it?

 

It wouldn't be a book without pictures would it? Silly.

 

Will it be full of fun animal facts? I think that is where the money is these days mate.

 

Memoirs or something more factual?

 

Animal facts, 50 shades of panda sex and some good recipies that you can cut your fingers with.

I reckon I'm on a bestseller here.

BTW, If a 10ft boa constrictor was trying to squish you it's the same pressure as having a volkswagen beetle on you chest. My advice, avoid Boa constrictors at all cost. I'll give that advice to all of you for free.

Signed

Sleepy Attenborough.

 

Remember folks, never set a snare in the mountain jungles of Rawanda. It's just not worth it.

 

I'd like to write a book on erections. Naturally it would have to be a pop-up.

 

Maybe I'll write about everybody that has ever wronged me. THOSE ****NG BASTARDS. Everyone of you will die a terriible death before I feed your stinking remains to my pigs.

You ****ing said I had big ears? Wait until Mr piggy gets ahold of your big ears in his mouth you ****ing ****s.

I have a small dick do I? Well that's better than no dick after Mr Piggy eats yours you ****.

I wear hand-me-downs do I? I only wore them because your mum wanted me to when I was ****ing her up the ass.

Bowl cut? Same thing I gave to your dad's big hairy pubes.

**** YOU ALL YOU BASTARDS, SLEEPY IS COMING TO GET YOU. Maybe next week, I'm a bit tired today.

 

Is it available on Amazon?

 

Well done for coming back SSK!