I find so many things in PL football predictable, thought I'd challenge myself to a little game. Things we're likely to see (promise I don't know anything about today's games in advance of seeing MOTD): 1. Ridiculous team goal from Arsenal 2. Sunderland straight red 3. Poyet furious about something/blaming external factors 4. West Ham goal from a second ball following a long ball 5. Palace penalty/lucky not to concede a penalty 6. Someone from Man United diving about (not sure if this is compatible with 5 since they played each other) 7. Magath saying something ridiculous in his interview after the Fulham game 8. Someone getting a penalty by playing for one, and the pundits calling it 'clever play' rather than condemning it 9. Someone's defending being described as an 'absolute horror show' by Hansen. 10. A debatable straight red card for diving in after a poor first touch Feel free to add your own...
11. Somebody scoring a volley outside the box. Sounds a bit vague, but someone always scores a long range volley every week, I swear.
Complimenting some cheating t**t's 'skill' at winning a free kick. Whoops, you've got that. I'll think of another.
11. "Man United are still in the race for 4th". 12. Some **** commentary about Rooney's 300k p/w contract and playing in his 300th game for United. 13. "Just look how tight it is" when they show the table at the end. 14. It'll end with a **** pun. 15. Shearer will say something completely stupid. He's probably changed his mind on who will "definitely win the league".
16. Someone will score an absolute screamer but it'll be overlooked because he isn't Van Persie or Luis Suarez.
A goalkeeper being criticised for his part in a penalty award where the attacker clearly dived over him
17. "It's the sign of a good team". This will somehow legislate for Chelsea's dreary performance but scoring in the last minute. "What champions are made of" is another that they like there.
19. Alan Shearer will use a 10 second clip of Cardiff's formation when the ball is in a nothing area and will tell us that this is the reason they lost.
OR 20. Alan Shearer will use a 10 second clip of Hull's formation when the ball is in a nothing area and will tell us that this is the reason they won
Poyet will jabber some nonsense with bulging rabid eyes in an incoherent response as to why SAFC were so **** or worrying about the big game next week. Some turd will say Tony Pulis has 'turned Palace around' or 'Palace are now hard to beat'.
They show Ramires being "clever", then show the exact same thing from Cardiff player and call them a disgrace. This can be substituted by the showing of the Jelavic challenge on Jones in our area that should definitely be a penalty, followed by Smalling doing the same thing to a Palace striker and it being clever use of his body and a perfectly clean challenge. Bonus points. They show the bit of video and then the two of them disagree about whether it's why one team won or why the other lost. This week it'll be the Arsenal game and they can't decide whether it was good by Arsenal or **** by Sunderland.
27b Fellaini will still look stupid running around the pitch wearing clown shoes in a Man Utd shirt, regardless of the opposition. 28 A disgusted look from a keeper having just conceded a shocker.
Some mid-table team will beat a nailed on relegation certainty away 4-0 with a deflected goal, 2 from a transfer window signing who was deemed to be a big risk by some and a breakaway goal which if scored by The Arsenal would be described as clinical, free-flowing 24 carot football.
