Michael Owen

https://www.sportskeeda.com/football/top-20-funniest-quotes-michael-owen

Lets laugh at the little twat.

#20 “It’s a good run, but it’s a poor run, if you know what I mean?”
If anybody knows what he’s talking about, please do let us know.

#19 “Footballers these days often have to use their feet.”
Okay, to be fair I think we know what he meant. But let’s pretend we don’t and ask the question, “What did they use before, then?”

#18 “He looks like a footballer.”
Owen’s description of Manchester United’s Anthony Martial, while donning the red kit of Manchester United, was quite rightly playing football at the time. Truly some insightful stuff there.

#17 “They’re outswarming them!”
Uhmm, yeeeeeah! Outswarming isn’t a word.


#16 “He’s elbowed him in the head, but there’s nothing in it for me.”
Heartless. What else is there to say?

#15 “Alderweireld played really well last year for Tottenham, let’s hope he can transfer that form to Spurs this season.”
Okay, who’s going to be the one to tell him that they’re both the same team?

#14 “That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post.”
Brilliant! Before you know it, he’ll be spewing up blasphemy like, “You need to score more than the opposition to win a game”. Surely, he’s not that stupid.

#13 “Whichever team scores more goals usually wins.”
And here, I offer a proverbial shake of the head and let out an audible sigh. And they actually pay him to tell us this.

#12 “That’s a fantastic penalty, but he’ll be gutted it went wide.”
Ah, that Michael Owen. Always so generous in his praise.

#11 “You have to believe your own eyes, don’t you?”
Look up the definition of ‘Pundit’ on Wikipedia and it’ll tell you it is someone who offers his/her opinion to mass media on a particular subject that they’re a scholar on. So, considering his job is to watch matches and offer his expert opinion on them, I do believe he has to use his eyes, yes; and believe them too.

#10) “It’s hit the facial part of his head, there.”
I believe that’s called his face. Next up, watch as he describes a handball as having hit the player’s “handy part of the hand”.

#9 “What a shot! That’s completely unstoppable, but the keeper’s got to do better for me.”
Yes, I’m sure the keeper will try his best next time; just for you Owen.

#8) “I knew it, I knew it! I was going to say Balotelli would score but I didn’t.”
His analyses are truly incredible. You know what would take it to the next level? Maybe actually saying it out.

#7 “When they don’t score, they hardly ever win.”
Here’s Michael Owen pinpointing where exactly Manchester City’s problems lie.

#6 “If there’s a bit of rain about, it makes the surface wet.”
A whole new perspective of the phrase “Water is wet”.

#5 “Do they deserve to win? No, Liverpool do. Which is why a draw is a fair result.”
Let me put it simply, draw =/= win.

#4 “Pellegrini will speak to them and City will come out with a fresh set of impetus.”
While they’re at it, they should probably acquire fresh sets of dignities, egos and common sense too.

#3 “To stay in the game, you have to stay in the game.”
Ah, darn. And here I thought I could have a tea-break in the middle.

#2 “When the ball is that still, it’s wobbling in the air.”
Here we have a Michael Owen in its natural habitat, redefining the laws of physics.

#1 “That shot is impossible. I saw Yaya Toure do it once.”
We can clearly see the high regards which Owen holds Yaya in.

 

Ballon doir

 

I've usually nodded off after a minute of him talking, so I've missed most of these.

 

Some really stupid comments in there lol.

 

Complete the sentence:

Michael Owen....


















is a filthy sheepshagging turncoat ****

 

The guy is a dire pundit

 

He's less interesting than James Milner.

 

Was an excellent striker for us then ruined it.

He's an absolutely terrible pundit as we all know.

Should stick to horse racing behind the scenes.

 

Indeed

 

Yeah, they're silly statements but to be honest when you have to say so much filler-speak during a match to fill out the time, you will say stupid stuff.

Anyone that has to say so much filler is going to say stupid things. I hear stupid comments every match by whoever is talking.

 

That was all in one match.

 

One of my favourite pundit quotes from a Champions League match which made me crack up as I was listening to the game at work was:

"Cisse, he is hard to-handle when he spreads his legs"

Can't remember who said that but made me chuckle, maybe its just me with my head in the gutter though.

 

Haha that too

 

Hey Bow, been a long time. Very long time, how are you my man?

 

Limited player, **** pundit.

 

Hello.

Sorry for the late reply.

Remind me, which poster were you previously?!

 

BBF you'd probably remember

 

It's more the fact that he has the most boring voice in the world that's the problem.

I could happily do without co-commentators. You don't get a commentary when you're at a match and I don't feel I need an ex-player to give me an insight into a game I've watched for over half a century.

 

****ing frightening isn't it