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Messi to quit Barca!

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by AsprillasFurCoat, May 28, 2011.

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  1. AsprillasFurCoat

    AsprillasFurCoat Member

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    According to sports papers in Spain:

    Lionel Messi has shocked the footbasll world this afternoon by announcing that he intends to quit Barcelona, and it is understood that an unamed Premier League club will secure his services within 48 hours of the Chapions Leauge Final.

    Although the club has not been named, there were some clues in the statement released my Messis agent 30 minutes ago:

    'I have had a fantastic time at Barcelona, and the club and the fans are something that I will always be grateful to and will never forget, but I feel that the time has now come to move on.
    I have always wanted to play for an under-acheiving club, and help them reach their goals. Beacuse I thrive on challenge, I would like to play for a team that lurches from one crisis to another without any sign of actually winning anything. I like to meet lots of people, so a club that has a history of a continually high turnover of managers would be ideal. A club that buys a dissproportionate amount of donkeys would be good too, as they will make me look even better than I actually am .Also, whilst visiting England, I have developed a taste for Greggs pasties, so my dream move would be to a club with a big fat bastard of an owner who can provide me with an endless supply of these savoury treats.'

    You know, I think he might just mean us!
     
    #1
    AsprillasFurCoat, May 28, 2011
  2. Tiote

    Tiote New Member

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    Man City will have offered silly money we are all ****ing going to see them signing the best this summer
     
    #2
    Tiote, May 28, 2011
  3. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Hmmmm, looks as if he could.
     
    #3
    Agent Bruce, May 28, 2011
  4. All Hail Ben Arfa

    All Hail Ben Arfa Member

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    Messi inbound
     
    #4
    All Hail Ben Arfa, May 28, 2011
  5. AH

    AH Active Member

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    Bye Bye Shola then :(
     
    #5
    AH, May 28, 2011
  6. Darth Gogledd

    Darth Gogledd Well-Known Member

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    This is terrible news!!!

    We can't afford to lose Shola now!!!
     
    #6
    Darth Gogledd, May 28, 2011
  7. Tiote

    Tiote New Member

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    Pardew would leave him on the bench and play shols remeber he played Harewood over Tevez and reo coker over macherano
     
    #7
    Tiote, May 28, 2011
  8. Darth Gogledd

    Darth Gogledd Well-Known Member

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    That's cos he knew they were illegal, so didn't want to play them too much, to try to lessen the punishment. Which he did. :mad:
     
    #8
    Darth Gogledd, May 28, 2011
  9. I want curly hair too

    I want curly hair too Active Member

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    Kuqi leaves Newcastle, Messi leaves Barca
    Hmm.. too much of a coincidence there
     
    #9
    I want curly hair too, May 28, 2011
  10. The Wilde one

    The Wilde one Member

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    eugh...slow news day?
     
    #10
    The Wilde one, May 28, 2011

  11. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    <laugh> Great stuff!
     
    #11
    Aldridge_Prior, May 28, 2011
  12. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Tiote is a **** wit
     
    #12
    overseasTOON, May 28, 2011
  13. Munstertoon

    Munstertoon Member

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    What a dark, sad place your mind must be. Your DNA should be distilled, and used as an alternative to Tramadol.
     
    #13
    Munstertoon, May 28, 2011
  14. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #14
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, May 28, 2011
  15. skalpel

    skalpel Active Member

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    <laugh><laugh> If you had any idea how far into this I read before I realised it was a joke.
     
    #15
    skalpel, May 28, 2011
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