A little thread to lighten the mood with a few stupid jokes... I'll kick off with a couple: I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did. What takes up 12 parking spaces..? 6 women drivers
How many Norwich fans does it take to change a light bulb? 999 - 1 to change it and 998 to preach on for a week how well he done!
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
PreviousNext A man asks an attractive woman on the golf course if she'd like to play a round with him. She wins by four strokes. Sensing the guy's embarrassment, the woman offers to take him to the parking lot and give him head in her car to make him feel better. For the rest of the week, they play together every morning. The woman wins by four or five strokes each time and then goes down on him in the parking lot. On Friday, he invites her to his house for a romantic dinner. That evening, they have a lovely meal and move to the couch to fool around. The woman pulls away and says, "That's it -- stop, wait -- I must confess something to you. I'm a transvestite. I'm really a man!" "You son of a bitch!" the guy exclaims. "You've been hitting off the women's tee all week!"
A boy comes home from school with a task of an essay homework assignment. He asks his dad for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned." The boy is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would," she replies. He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!" The boy goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've sorted it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with a couple of sluts."
What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? A poor marksman can shoot but not hit, and a constipated owl....
