Mother bought one of those hair clippers - a very effective torture device but not much good for cutting hair.
How about Rolf's pocket organ? [video=youtube;aebmbzU-nKg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aebmbzU-nKg[/video]
Not very much use if you have an LP collection like mine which numbers over 3,000 units (plus another 2,000 on CD).