Judy married Ted; they had 13 children. Ted died. She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy remarried again, and this time, she & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together." Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret: "Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?" Margaret replied: I think he means her legs, Ethel!"
Wife has broken her leg & her hubby comes home after work. Hubby: Honey, how're you doing? Wife: Fine. Hey, do me a favour plz. Go upstairs & get me my slippers. My feet are freezing. Hubby goes upstairs & sees wife's 2 hot sisters lying on the bed. Hubby: Your sister sent me up to have s€x with you girls. Sisters: Prove it !! Hubby (Shouting): Hey honey, both of them? Wife (Shouting back): Of course! What's the point of fu**king one?
An inmate is lying in his cell when the door opens and in walks his new cohabitant, a 6'6 bruiser with muscles to match....'alright mate' says he rather pensively 'err how long you in for' .....'till I ejeculate normally ' he replied
A woman decides to spice up her sex life and buys a mini skirt and a pair of crotchless panties. The next evening she sits opposite her husband crossing and uncrossing her legs. After a few minutes he said ‘Are you wearing crotchless panties ?’ She smiled and said yes. Husband said ‘Thank God for that . . . . I thought that you were sitting on the cat.’
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my arse still hurts."
An old lady got on an elevator in a very lavish building,when a young woman gets on smelling of perfume. The woman turns to the old woman and arrogantly says "Romance by Ralph Lauren $150.00 an ounce!" Then another young woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly says "Chanel#5 $200.00 an ounce!" About 3 floors later,the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator, but before she leaves,she looks at both women in the eye,bends over Farts and says "Broccoli 49 cents a pound!"
A mummy has been found in a previously secret tomb it was covered in a chocolatey substance and shredded nuts archeologist believe it could be the young pharaoh roche
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, find a field in which to let the pigs mate. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not." The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week. Both farmers were worn out. The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass." "Neither," yelled his wife. "They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."
