A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because over the years they had become loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret, and of course, the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon. "I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation !" The surgeon told her that he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago." "what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man in the burns unit who wanted to thank you for his new ears."
The Queen visits a hospital and was meeting patients. The Doctor pulls back the curtains to reveal a man masterbating. The Queen asks what is wrong with him. The Doctor replied 'He is preducing too much sperm so he has to masterbate at least 8 times a day.' The Doctor pulls the curtains of the next bed to find a nurse giving the man in the bed a blowjob. The Queen asks what is wrong with him. The Doctor replied 'The same as the other fella, but he's with Bupa.'
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Same Sex marriage Michael and Gary got married in California. They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Michael's Mom and Dad's house in Corner Brook for their first married night together. In the morning, Johnny, Michael's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Michael and Gary are up yet. She replies, 'No'. Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.' Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Michael and Gary up yet?' She replies, 'No.' Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school ' After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Michael and Gary up yet?' His mom says, 'No.' He asks, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.' He says: 'Last night Michael came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...I gave him my airplane glue.'
